She who entices men REWRITTEN
by Guylene
Summary: This is the story of Cassandra, The title takes origin from the meaning of her name. Rewritten because I wasn't happy with my first version.
1. Chapter 1

**First Chapter – From princess to priestess**

**A.N. I'm going to rewrite my story from the beginning because when I first posted it I was in a hurry and I was not entirely happy with the results.**

(Cassandra's POV)

Since I was born I've always be considered strange. People would look at me with wide eyes or whisper to one another in my presence. At first I supposed that was just because I was the King's daughter.

My first encounter with Apollo dates back to when I was about seven. I had accompanied my mother to his temple and she had left me alone to give our offer to Laxani, the high-priest.

I was standing in the temple's main hall, looking at Apollo's beautiful statue, when I heard a melodious and sweet voice calling my name. I looked around but no one was in sight and with a shiver I understood that the voice came from my own head.

"Cassandra" he said again, softly. I knew he was Apollo.

I felt strange, almost as if I was floating. But when I looked down my feet were still on the ground.

"Sir…"

"Do not be afraid, my dearest child. " he murmured.

That very moment a female snake went out from the basket she had been resting in and slowly slithered towards me. Unlike my mother and my sisters I had always liked snakes so I didn't back away.

"You can touch her. She knows you from a long time and she will do you no harm." Apollo's voice said confidently in my head.

I kneeled in front of the snake and outstretched my hand. She slowly wrapped around my arm and eventually rested her head on my shoulder. She was warm and her presence was almost reassuring to me so I easily accepted the contact. She eventually went back to her basket and after a moment my mother went back with Laxani.

Upon seeing my confused expression she snorted: "Cassandra, would you please try to focus on something. You're always lost in your own world."

"Do not blame your mother, she does not know that I am talking to you. Keep it to yourself for now" Apollo's voice murmured, almost laughing. "Now go with your mother. Feel free to come to my temple and to touch my sacred snakes every time you wish".

-O- -O- -O-

That very year my father decided that I had to study like my brothers. I was happy – I've always liked to learn new things- but I knew that usually women didn't study, not even princesses.

"Are Polyxena and Laodice going to study as well?- I asked my father when he informed me of his decision.

"They're not." He answered briskly.

"Then why am _I_ going to?" Priam sighed and looked at me tiredly and I feared that I had pushed my curiosity too far.

"At the appropriate time you will know." He said in a definitive tone.

So my twin brother Helenus and I went to study with Hermes' priest, Aesacus. He was very old and my father's advisor from many years but he was also playful and gentle and liked to tell stories, which I loved. He especially loved Cretan stories because his father was Cretan.

"… and so Dedalus built this construction and called it 'labyrinth', and the Minotaur was imprisoned inside it." He told us one day.

"And what happened next? Tell me, please!" I pleaded, excited. "Will you wait a moment, my child?" said Aesacus smiling "You always want to know what will happen next, this is your biggest flaw". Years later I understood how right he had been.

"As if it was the only one" Helenus muttered, but I heard him nevertheless.

"Do you really think you are so wonderful?" I snapped. My brother and I had never been on good terms. I felt that he was jealous of me because of the attentions people paid to me and he just couldn't understand that I didn't want those attentions! And besides Aesacus was one of the very few people that didn't treat me differently from my other siblings.

"At least I'm not insufferable like you, Cassandra!" he retorted, and I slapped him on the head while he punched me on the arm.

"Now you will stop beating each other!" said Aesacus sternly, and we went immediately still and silent because it was very unusual to see him angry. "As for you, Helenus, you shouldn't always try to sting your sister. And as for you, Cassandra, I don't like it when you slap your own brother and besides you should learn to wait and see, sometimes. You can't always know everything from the beginning! Now, if you are finished arguing… the Minotaur only ate human flesh…"

"Bleah!" we chorused. We tried our best not to argue and not to beat each other at school but sometimes we just couldn't help.

Aesacus taught me how to read, write and sing (music has always been very important in Troy since it was Apollo's city) and many wonderful stories and songs that I still remember. We later became good friends, despite the difference in age.

-O- -O- -O-

"Cassandra, are you ready? We shall go to the temple!" Hector shouted from the gardens.

"I'm ready!" I shouted back, approaching him and smiling widely to my beloved older brother. He was our family's joy and my favourite brother, always ready to share a joke with me but always to give me advice should I have needed it. On the contrary I almost didn't talk with Deiphobus, Licaon and the others, not to mention Troilus, who was just born, and Paris, who had been sent away.

I still remember that day very well. One night my mother was wakened by a horrible nightmare and my father called Laxani to interpret it. I didn't hear what he said and my parents wouldn't tell us but when Paris was born they sent him on mount Ida with a shepherd.

Later I had dreams about him and I understood.

"This place is always so quiet, but you feel such an awe…" Hector murmured once we had gotten into the temple. From some time I had noticed that I didn't belonged to my family. I loved Hector dearly and I felt affection for my parents and siblings but that palace just wasn't my place. I only felt at home in Apollo's quiet temple.

"As with Apollo…" I answered without thinking, and Hector turned swiftly to me.

"What? Have you seen him?" he asked, bewildered.

"No. I… how to say that? Felt him"

"Felt? What does it mean?"

"I heard his voice and a sort of warm aura around me… but I was alone" I knew that it wasn't clear and that I seemed crazy but that was.

"And how do you know it was him?"

"I know, Hector."

I regarded him seriously, then murmured into his ear: "If I tell you a secret, do you promise you'll never tell anyone?" with the conspiracy tone that only a eight years old child could have.

"Of course, little sister!" he smiled.

"I want to become his priestess. Do you think they will let me?"

"Yes, I think they will" he said confidently and I felt reassured: my older brother was always right.

"Has he asked that of you, Cassandra?"

"No. But I know that I belong here."

"And what did he say to you?"

"He said my name, several times. Then…" I was about to tell him about the snake but I hesitated.

"Yes?"

"You will not believe me" I said doubtfully.

"Come on, little sister! Tell me!"

"In a corner there was a snake. He told me to caress it"

"You did that?"

"Yes! I couldn't resist his voice"

"Weren't you afraid?"

"Not at all! That was Apollo's snake, he wouldn't have hurt me!"

Hector's expression was a bit disgusted; he wasn't afraid of snakes, but he sure didn't want to caress one of them as if it was a cat!

"But it's beautiful! They are soft and warm…" I tried to explain.

"Of course, they are adorable!" he commented sarcastically.. –"Indeed they are! Look!" A snake lied in the corner and I approached it.

"Cassandra, are you sure you are allowed to do so?"

"Yes. Apollo told me that I must never be afraid of his sacred snakes because they know me from a long time. I didn't understand the last part, though" I added, still confused by Apollo's words. Shrugging, I sat on the floor and gently caressed the snake. With a slow, sinuous movement the animal encircled my arm until he licked my ear, then he went back to its place in the corner.

"You see?" I smiled at Hector. He was speechless, his mouth open; we went back to the palace without a word.

-O- -O- -O-

"Hector" i murmured as he polished his spear.

"Yes, little sister?"

"I want to ask our father's permission… to enter Apollo's temple. Would you accompany me? Please?" I felt it was time. Some days previously I had had an epilepsy crisis – they had told me because I didn't remember it at all- and from that moment on I had been feeling Apollo's presence in my mind all the time. He didn't talk to me, he didn't seem to interfere with my thoughts but I knew that he was there. Occasionally I would feel a burst of emotion that came from his mind and not from mine. I just knew that I had to enter his temple.

"Of course!" he took my hand and we headed to Priam's quarters. My father wasn't surprised to hear my wish:

"My daughter. Now the time has come for you to know that. Soon after your birth you were chosen by Apollo. One night, while you were sleeping in his temple as is the custom for newborns, he sent a snake to lick your ear. From that moment on we have known that you would've become his priestess. So yes, I give you my permission. You will enter as soon as possible". With that I finally understood why people murmured around me and why Apollo's snake knew me from a long time.

So at twelve years of age I entered Apollo's temple. The high priest, Laxani, was as old as Aesacus but they were completely different; while Hermes' priest was playful, extroverted and sweet, Laxani was sullen, serious and a bit grumpy. But he taught me about snakes and healing as well as about the rituals and the God himself, and he was gentle but gratefully not awkward towards me, probably because he knew what it meant to be chosen by a god. Soon I understood that his grumpiness protected a somewhat fragile soul and I came to terms with his strange personality.

Soon after my arrival another girl came to the temple as a novice; her name was Myrrhine and she was just a bit younger than me and more shy and reserved. At first she treated me with awe because I was the king's daughter but after some time I managed to befriend her. She was the only girl who seemed to understand me, unlike my sister that would only worry about their hair, their looks, weaving and so on.


	2. Approaching Apollo

**A.N. Angel01, thanks for your review! I left you hanging because otherwise one would never be curious about the next chapter =) Let me know if I improve…**

**Approaching Apollo**

I immediately felt at home in the temple. Myrrhine became the first friend I had had in my life and I enjoyed spending time with her; Laxani was grumpy but he developed some affection for me even if he was awful at showing it – actually he was awful at showing anything and generally distrustful of people.

"Myrrhine, if you keep being so shy when you accept the offers people will think that I beat you." he growled one morning.

"I'm very sorry, sir. It's just very hard for me to relax" she answered with a blush. She was really insecure at the time but after all she was just eleven and not used to see so many people around her.

"Well, you'd better find a way, otherwise Cassandra will take your place." he said bitterly. As much as Myrrhine was really too shy I felt that he wasn't being far and especially that he wasn't helping her to _relax_.

"I don't agree with you, Laxani. I think Myrrhine is doing well and that people actually likes her. There's no need for me to take her place." I said defiantly. I meant it: people usually don't like priests who behave as if they were better than others and Myrrhine's understatement was very likeable.

Myrrhine looked at me in shock and Laxani turned, slightly outraged:

"Would you disobey to me?" he asked very quietly.

"I believe that you're wrong, so yes." I said, trying not to sound bitter.

He looked at me for a long moment and I feared that he would've said something painful to me.

"You must feel lucky because your fellow novice is quite loyal." He said instead, turning to Myrrhine, then he left without a word.

Myrrhine looked at me, cautious: "Princess, I… appreciate your support but you didn't need to put yourself in this situation just for me."

"I've already told you to call me by my name, Myrrhine. There are no princesses here. And it wouldn't have been honest to take your place." Myrrhine smiled, reassured; she made a move as if she wanted to hug me but eventually she thought better of it and just braced herself.

Soon I felt something peculiar in my mind: Apollo's presence had intensified and I felt his pride warming me. He was pleased with me and that was enough to make me happy.

Laxani wasn't actually angry with me – on the contrary, he appreciated my frankness. From that day on he abandoned his wariness of me and started considering me like a trustworthy person.

My novitiate went on quietly and even happily and when I was fifteen years old I was consecrated to Apollo.

-O- -O- -O-

Some years later I was burning laurel strains on the altar when I felt Apollo's familiar aura stronger than usual, next to me.

"My priestess" said his voice from behind me, and I turned to find him standing by a column.

I gasped.

He was inconceivably beautiful, with golden hair and silvery eyes which seemed to pierce my very soul. It was the first time I actually saw him and I spent some moments contemplating a beauty that I couldn't have even imagined.

"My Lord" I managed to say as he approached me.

"You must not fear me, my priestess. You already know me, even if this is the first time we actually meet." He said softly, noticing my uneasiness. He looked around, then his eyes focused again on me.

"I recall you like snakes and healing, Cassandra" he said when he was in front of me. I could feel a very light almond scent coming from him.

"Yes, my lord"

"Then I'll teach you how to properly extract their venom when they die" Instantly, a dead snake appeared in Apollo's hands "Please, go fetch a knife".

For the next hour, Apollo taught me how to do that and a lot of other amazing things about the snakes. I was beginning to relax but I couldn't help but feel that strong awe in his presence. It was strange, since I was used to feel him in my head all of the time, but still the sight of him, his voice, his eyes made me dizzy and almost shy.

"Now I have to go, Cassandra" he told me "but I can tell you will see me again."

With that he left and I stood alone next to the altar, not able to move.

-O- -O- -O-

"Cassandra, you had often asked for the gift of prophecy in your prayers to me. Why so?" Apollo asked me the next time, almost a month later.

"Since I was a child, I've often had prophetic dreams and visions, but they are so confused that I can't interpret them and so they make me nervous. They upset me very much, sir." I answered. Dreams and nightmares taunted me since I was a child, so much that some time I couldn't sleep at all. Apart from Paris, there were dreams about a baby thrown down Troy's wall, about me on a ship with many strangers laughing at me and things like that.

"Well, I will think about it. Prophecy should not be taken lightly and I must warn you that sometimes it is a burden. For now, you are still too young. We will see."

"Yes, sir. Thank you."

Apollo visited me very frequently and I was getting used to him. He taught me many things and often I would just listen while he told me about animals, plants and diseases. Of course, I would still hold my breath upon seeing him, but I was beginning not to fear him so much. Nevertheless, his touch was shocking and bewildering to me. One day he was teaching me how to properly cut some herbs and he had covered my hand with his to show me the appropriate movement of the knife: that was the first time he touched me and I felt a long, intense shiver from my hand to my back and a blush forming on my face, even if I couldn't understand why.

He looked at me almost worriedly: "Am I causing any discomfort?" he asked.

"No, not at all." I breathed, hoping that he wouldn't lift his hand from mine. His skin was incredibly soft and hours later I would still feel his almond scent on my hand.

That night, while I lied awake in my bed, I felt with anguish that I was beginning to _love_ him. Many months have passed since our first meet and I was beginning to wait impatiently for his next visit, to get nervous when he didn't come for a long period, to hope that he wouldn't have left so soon whenever he visited me. I asked myself if he was aware of my feelings but apparently if he was aware he didn't hold a grudge against me for that. He was so calm that he seemed almost emotionless; he also seemed gentle and understanding, but I had heard that his wrath was to be feared, so I was always very careful with him. He was neither grumpy like Laxani nor playful like Aesacus, he was completely different from any man I had ever met.

-O- -O- -O-

It happened about one year after our first meet.

"You are a courageous young woman, Cassandra, and you have a number of rare, exceptional qualities. So I am going to give you the gift of foresight."

"Thank you, sir!" I said, not believing my ears "Though I do not believe that I have such special qualities"

"Oh, but you do!" he told me with a smile I had never seen, and his eyes lingered on my face, my body. Then he said softly: "Cassandra, my beloved, I ravel in your presence. Your grace, your strength and your swift intellect never cease to amaze me."

Shivering, I broke eye contact with him, because I felt so drained to him that I was about to lose my mind. And moreover I wasn't used to such compliments.

Apollo reached for me and he gently turned my chin so that I was looking at him again.

"My dearest, I love you." He said lovingly and I gasped. For a moment I felt both his affection and his lust in my mind and this shocked me. I couldn't understand whether he really meant it or he was mocking me or wanted to spoil me.

"And tell me, Cassandra, am I so indifferent to you?" He asked seriously, as if my answer really mattered to him.

"No! How could you be?" I exclaimed with a blush. He smiled lovingly, took my hand and kissed it slowly. Then he looked back at me:

"Now I will give you the gift you asked for. You will find it difficult to manage at the beginning, but you will soon learn what to do. And do not be afraid… remember that some things, even if just few of them, can be changed, it is up to you." Then I felt a wave of warmness surrounding me, the power of Apollo encircled my body and soul and I felt as if I was floating. It was a moment; I soon found myself standing in the temple, as before.

"I will come back to you very soon, my beloved. I will not leave you alone." He said again in a sweet voice, before leaving.

**A.N. That's all for today. Please give me some feedback =) **


	3. The Wrong Choice

**The wrong choice**

After that meeting I stood in the temple, bewildered and confused by Apollo's words. Did he really love me? I knew that I was beautiful but surely not the most beautiful woman in Troy and anyway not as beautiful as a goddess. I was intelligent but not more intelligent than other people. Then why would he court me? I couldn't help but think that he just wanted to use me.

"What if I get pregnant? And one day I will get old… will he still love me then?" the only possible answer was "no". I understood that a god couldn't actually love a mortal and I didn't hold a grudge against him for that but I regretted saying that he wasn't indifferent to me: by doing so I had accepted his courtship.

"He's gentle, fascinating, intelligent, beautiful… I owe him so much… I feel so drained to him I can barely restrain myself… what should I do?" Usually I would've talked to Hector or to Aesacus for advice but I felt this was not the moment. They probably wouldn't have believed me.

Finally I got to bed, deciding that I would've thought about it after a good sleep.

_The blond man called Achilles held a spear and Hector tried to defend himself with his own spear. Utterly confused, I could see I was on the walls with many other Trojans, including Priam, Hecuba and Andromache. They all watched the fight. "It's all because Hector killed Patroclus" I thought to myself. "What am I saying? Who is Patroclus? And besides, Hector didn't kill anyone!" another part of me said vehemently._

_Aesacus stood by my side with a worried look and on the other side stood a beautiful woman with blonde hair – Helen- I thought. "Am I out of my mind? Who is Helen?". I focused again on the fight, where nothing had changed. Achilles was still in charge. Then, with a horrified shiver, I saw Achilles' spear hitting Hector's neck. Blood spilled from the wound and Hector kneeled, gasping. I heard cries around me but I could not get my eyes off from my brother. He pressed both hands on his throat and then collapsed on the ground. A loud, bellowing cry of joy came from the Achaeans. –What Achaeans? –But they were there, Agamemnon, Ajax, Menelaus… I couldn't say how I knew their names. Another horrified cry came from the Trojans; Achilles was attaching Hector's body on his own chariot. Then he went on the chariot and started riding. A long trail of blood followed him. _

_An Achaean warrior called Ajax kissed me violently on the lips and then ripped my dress, not caring that we were in Apollo's temple. I tried to resist, to fight him, but he just laughed and then…_

I awoke with a cry. I was familiar with prophetic dreams and, despite being confused during the dream, I knew this was prophecy. Trembling, I realized that my beloved brother was going to die a terrible death at the hands of an enemy, that I was going to be raped by an enemy. Shocked, I got up and headed to the terrace; I needed to walk. But instead of being greeted with the usual sight of my peaceful and sleepy city, I found out that Troy was on fire. I turned my head to look at the sea but I found out it was almost covered in ships.

I was about to cry for help when I understood this was a vision as well.

"What have I done? Why did I ask for that gift? And how could I accept Apollo's courtship?".

I knew that he didn't love me. He didn't, or he wouldn't have allowed Ajax to rape me. I would've been just a distraction for him, a girl to use and then toss away. And he knew about me, my brother, my city… and he hadn't even bothered to tell me, to prepare me…

I decided to refuse him even if I knew he couldn't take his damned _gift_ back.

-O- -O- -O-

Apollo came back to me three days after this visions. I was torn between the desire to seek comfort from him and the desire to shout at him and run away and he seemed to understand something was wrong.

"Are you upset?" he asked in a gentle voice.

"Very much so." I answered softly, not trusting my voice.

"Did you have visions?"

"Y-yes" I stammered.

"I know it can be difficult but in the end you will get used to them. I decided to oblige to you request because I think you will manage." He was gentle with me. I expected him to just have his way with me but he just kissed my hands.

Nevertheless I couldn't help but stiffen, unlike the other times. "You really should relax, my lovely Cassandra. You do not deserve any rudeness." _Then why will you allow Ajax to rape me?_ I thought. But I couldn't muster the courage to speak up.

Finally, he prepared to leave. "You'll see me soon, as always" he said while bending his head towards mine. Realizing he was going to kiss me, I jumped back, bracing myself.

"I am not going to hurt you!" he said, surprised. _You_ are _not_! I snorted inwardly.

"Now, take my hand" he continued, offering it to me.

But I couldn't bring myself to touch him, not anymore. I turned around: "No. please." I could perceive he was very surprised and was beginning to fear him.

After a pause, he spoke softly: "It is all right. I will wait as long as you want me to. Now I will leave…" he caressed my shoulder and I shivered "… but before I do, look at me."

I turned around and stared at him: he was as calm as usual, nothing but kindness in his eyes. For a moment I just wanted to tell him what bothered me.

"I do not consider myself rude. I regret that you are so afraid of me." Obviously, he thought this was all about fear of intimacy with him.

"It's not that!" I exclaimed, not daring to tell him the truth. What could have I said?

"Are you not? What is it, then?" he asked, curious, but I didn't answer.

"Is it that you don't want me at all?" This was exactly the matter but I feared his wrath too much and wasn't able to answer.

"There is no need for you to speak, I can read it in your eyes" he continued with the same calm voice "But last time you said you did! Why then…?" he stopped so abruptly that I looked up, and I was terrified by what I saw. He was still and silent, but wrath was written in his eyes so clearly that I trembled. After a moment I felt his anger, more violent than ever, exploding in my mind and I held my breath, waiting for his punishment.

"You tricked me for that gift?" I couldn't speak and he continued "You faked affection towards me in order to get that gift… and now that you have it you want to get rid of me?" I could've spoken up. I should've spoken up. But I feared that, had I told him what my real motivations were, he would've gotten angry anyway.

He took me by the shoulders and forced me to turn to him: for a moment I honestly feared that he would've had his way with me despite my refusal and the thought of it made me shiver. But he didn't – actually he immediately let go of me.

"Well then… as before, your eyes answer instead of your voice. Enjoy your gift, princess, since I can't take it away. But there will be a little change" he hissed lifting my chin with a stiff gesture: "That no one will believe you from this moment on!" and then he was gone. Many years would have passed before I could see him again.

I spent several moment in front of the altar, not moving, not even daring to breathe.

That's all for today, please review :)


	4. Misunderstanding

**Misunderstanding**

(general POV)

"I bet I can reach the top of that tree and you can't!" Artemis said in a mocking tone, handling her bow.

"Yes, sure you can." Apollo replied distractedly, and she looked back at him, surprised.

"What happened, brother?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Usually you would never admit I can best you. What is it?" He regarded her with sad, tired eyes.

"Wait, wait… that's your 'my romance went wrong' look! Is it about that Cassandra of yours?" Artemis knew about Cassandra but she didn't know the latest news yet and he told her.

"You did the right thing." she said at the end "Maybe one day you'll learn to stop this, won't you?"

"You do not understand" he answered pointedly.

"Of course, I know nothing" she mocked "but at least I don't get tricked like this."

-O- -O- -O-

(Cassandra's POV)

A moment later – or so it seemed to me- I felt like I couldn't move or speak anymore. I didn't even know where I was and I could just observe what was going on in front of me.

_The tall man called Ajax ripped my dress and touched my body with rough, calloused hands. _

_I fought back with fists and nails but he was too strong._

_-Don't be mean, princess! Remember, you are our slave now- Ajax exclaimed with a horrible laugh._

_I was in Agamemnon's palace. I heard his scream from the bathroom. And then Clytemnestra's long figure entered the room, holding a knife. I tried to run but the tall, muscular Achaean guard stopped me so that I couldn't move anymore. The cold metal was cutting the skin at my throat…_

I couldn't even manage to scream. Only a moan escaped from my lips.

And more than that – Apollo was gone. I didn't feel his presence in my head anymore. I was so used to it that I couldn't bear his absence, I would've preferred to feel his full anger. He had abandoned me, disregarded me.

After a long time I heard a quiet voice calling me from afar: "Cassandra, it's me. Don't be afraid, my child."

It was Aesacus. I could feel him touching my hand, his old, unmistakable scar under my fingers. I gripped his hand, not knowing whether I was still having visions or not.

"Yes, my dear, hold my hand. Now open your eyes, please." he cooed.

I hadn't realized they were closed. When I complied I was rewarded with Aesacus' blurry face and blue sparkling eyes in front of me. I could not focus.

"It's all right, Cassandra. You were just dreaming." His quiet voice reassured me and I wanted him to keep talking.

"It's almost a day that you keep flailing and screaming. Now try to have a good sleep, you need…" I interrupted him with a whimper. He didn't know- and I couldn't tell him- that I wasn't able to sleep, that the visions would've come back.

"Shh, Cassandra, listen to me. Try to sleep. I will stay right here and I will wake you up should you have another of those nightmares."

I trusted him so much that I just closed my eyes, still holding his hand.

_Troy was on fire. Achaean soldiers ran all over the city, killing men, women and children in the process, setting fire on the houses. I began to scream. _

"Cassandra, wake up!" Aesacus said shaking me. I opened my eyes and found myself sitting on my bed while he was still holding my shoulders. He regarded my face attentively: "You are better now. I can see it."

"What… happened?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

"Yesterday you had an epilepsy crisis. Laxani says he hadn't ever seen such a strong crisis. Then you kept having nightmares – Laxani tried to calm you but you just… wounded him… and so he called me."

"Wounded… wounded him?" I didn't remember wounding Laxani at all.

"Yes, you… punched and cut him with your nails as if he was assaulting you". So it was Laxani and not Ajax that I had tried to fight. "But now you are awake and visibly better." He concluded with a reassuring smile, standing up to lit the candles.

I burst into sobs. I couldn't quite come to terms with my visions and my destiny and with the fact that Apollo had abandoned me. Would I have needed to leave the temple? Would have Laxani and Aesacus rejected me as well?

Aesacus just sat next to me and took me in his arms, rocking me and whispering quiet words in my ear. After some time I collected myself and I managed to stop crying.

"Aesacus, do you think I'm crazy?" I asked him.

"Not at all, Cassandra." He said immediately. "Apollo's priests often have epilepsy and prophetic dreams, it's only normal for you to react badly."

I almost smiled at him, then I noticed that the sun was already rising.

"But Aesacus… have you spent the night here?" I asked.

"Yes, Laxani called me yesterday evening."

"I'm sorry for disturbing you. But now I feel better, you can go back. Thank you." I murmured.

"Should you need me, you know where to find me." He said with another smile of his, before leaving.

I took a bath, dressed and went to the terrace, thinking. Soon I would've had to inform Laxani about Apollo's rejection.

But when I didn't expect it at all, I again felt him in my mind. I could tell that he was very angry but at least he was there!

"I am disappointed, princess. But you have been consacrated to me, thus you are my priestess and I will not severe our link." His voice in my head sounded cold like it had never been before, his anger so strong that it made me shiver. But at least I was not alone.

-O- -O- -O-

"Are you out of your mind?" a shocked Hermes asked Apollo "this is a horrible punishment for such a young girl!"

"Should I let people make fun of me like this?"

"No, of course. If she has tricked you, she deserves a punishment. But you have bestowed this gift upon her because you loved her, and thus you are responsible as well for this wrong choice" Hermes pointed out.

"I trusted her, I was wrong" the older god admitted quietly.

"Apollo, were you trying to woo her with this gift?" Hermes asked, and he was rewarded with a murderous glare: "Do you really think I would give her the gift of prophecy in change for _her_?" Apollo hissed furiously.

"I can't see it another way" Hermes replied sternly.

"Will you bother asking yourself why I acted this way?" Apollo asked, his eyes still blazing with rage.

"You should tell me!"

"Very well. A terrible fate awaits her… unless she marries me, of course. Had I revealed her fate to her before my courtship, she would have felt… forced to accept my offer". The younger god lowered his eyes, considering this words.

"And do you really think I punished her _only_ because of my wounded pride?"

"You feel wounded in your pride, yes" Hermes pointed out.

"You do not understand. The gift cannot be taken back but after she tricked me I can't trust her anymore. I am not sure she will use that gift wisely. She may start to reveal prophecies to the wrong person, in the wrong moment, and I must prevent her from doing so. So she is not to be believed, this is essential."

"I see." Hermes sighed.

"Do you think I am a cold, insensitive and cruel piece of stone? Tell me" Apollo asked in a quiet, unaccusing voice "because that would hurt coming from my best friend."

"No, I don't, my dear, forgive me. I feared that your wrath was blinding your sense, but now I can see you were right. There's only another thing…"

"Yes?"

"Apollo, are you sure that she tricked you? She could've been afraid, maybe…"

"I asked her and she was not. When I accused her, she was silent but her eyes were clear enough."

Hermes sighed again: "I'm sorry"

Apollo closed his eyes: "I courted many women, goddesses and mortals. I did love many of them, yes, but Cassandra… she could have been…".

Apollo was quiet, neither his wonderful features nor his voice showing any sign of pain, but Hermes could read it in his brother's hesitation. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder:

"Should you need me…"

"I know. Thank you for listening."

-O- -O- -O-

In a few days the story of my crisis and nightmares became widespread in the city. And soon I noticed that, even if I was still respected both as Apollo's servant and as the King's daughter, people murmured and made fun of me. I would catch people staring at me, sneering behind my back, whispering even more than before.

For this reason, I turned silent and grumpy, despising the false respect my citizens paid to me. Apart from my duty at the temple, I spoke with few people: Hector, Andromache, Aesacus, Laxani and Myrrhine, who were loyal to me. As time went by, it got all the more difficult to talk to me, to meet me, which I later realized hadn't helped my reputation that much.

One day that I had visited my family, my sister Polyxena brought up the subject:

"Why do you keep visiting, Cassandra? Don't you see that our mother is almost frightened by you?"

"Frightened?" I repeated. My mother and I didn't use to speak that much, we never had, but she didn't seem scared at all.

"It's because of your crazy dreams!" she snapped "Everyone thinks you're crazy but they're too polite to let you know. So when you come here no one's actually at ease!"

A painful answer was already on my lips but I kept it to myself, knowing what destiny awaited my sister.

"Hector keeps inviting me." I pointed out instead "And I think he has more authority than you have in this house. So I suggest you go speak with him if my presence bothers you so much."

Polyxena snorted but said nothing. She knew that Hector and I loved each other dearly and that he would've never forbidden me to come home.

But it was also clear to me that the more I loved them, the more difficult it would've been for me to accept their fate. The only way for me to stand it was to be detached, to close my heart, to suppress my feelings, otherwise the anguish would have killed me.

And even if I soon got used to predictions and prophetic dreams I understood that I was becoming a stone, a cold stone which one day would've stopped feeling anything at all.


	5. Difficulties To Endure

**Chapter 5: Difficulties to endure**

One morning Myrrhine entered my room in a hurry:

"Paris is back" she panted "with a woman."

A year before Paris had joined our family again. I knew he would've brought destruction to our city and wanted so badly to advise my father against welcoming him but I couldn't.

Some months before my father had sent Paris to Salamina: his task was to take home our aunt, Hesyone, who had been kidnapped by king Telamon many years before. Since the city was still a bit suspicious about Paris (and my brothers as well) Priam entrusted him with that task hoping that he would've gained his people's respect.

"Who's she?" I asked. Of course I knew who she was but I still asked because sometimes I myself had doubts about my visions.

"I don't know, she wears a veil. But if we hurry we can see them."

We went to the royal palace to wait for Paris' chariot and found Priam, Hecuba, Hector and Andromache waiting as well.

And soon, there he was, with a tall, veiled woman at his side, and I could say she wasn't Hesyone.

"Shall the gods bless you, father and mother. And my brother and sister too." he added, with a venomous glance towards me. He didn't like his sibling because we hadn't been sent away like he was; he especially hated me because I was Apollo's priest and he associated me with Laxani, the man who had sent him away.

"Who is she?" Hector asked matter-of-factly before Priam had had the time to speak.

"This is my bride, Helen of Sparta" he answered, gesturing towards the woman, who removed her veil. Even if I knew her from my dreams I couldn't help but gasp: she was beautiful, graceful, with pure golden hair and blue-violet eyes.

"Didn't you go to Salamina, my son?" Priam asked softly after a long moment, without acknowledging Helen.

"Of course I did. They wouldn't let me even meet my aunt. Telamon and Menelaus were so arrogant."

"Menelaus?" Hector asked, his brow furrowed.

"He was Telamon's guest." Paris explained defiantly.

Hector did not seem happy at all. "Lady Helen, it seemed to me that Menelaus was your husband."

"He was, indeed"

"And what about Paris, then?"

"We love each other" said man interrupted eagerly, and Helen nodded.

"Paris, did you kidnap her?" Hector asked harshly. He didn't answer.

"Paris, I will ask you again: did you kidnap her?"

"I followed him willingly" Helen interrupted softly, with a sweet voice.

"And you think we should let her stay?" I asked abruptly. Apparently Helen wasn't aware of my presence because she gave a start upon hearing my voice.

"I do not think this decision is yours to make, sister"

"Neither it is yours, brother. And I believe that any man would try to get his wife back."

"You are being your usual gloomy self, Cassandra. You don't want people to be happy, that's it."

"Shut your mouth!" Hector bellowed, and Paris went silent.

"Cassandra's remarks are understandable and we'll have to talk about it" he continued, turning to his father. Priam nodded.

"For now, Helen, we welcome you as our guest." Priam finally welcomed her with a smile.

I went back to the temple, knowing that Helen would've stayed and that the Achaeans were coming.

Time passed and the council decided to let Helen stay. Apparently, her wedding to Menelaus had been combined by their families and more than that it would have been cruel to send back such a guest, since she would have probably been punished or even killed for her betrayal.

I really couldn't help but hate her but I tried not to display my feelings too much. After all Helen was a good woman: she helped Creusa with her pregnancy, she tended to my mother whenever she was unwell, she behaved like an affectionate and loving daughter and didn't bicker or cause troubles in my family. Despite being Paris' wife she was also gentle with me and didn't believe that I was crazy. Anyway I did my best to keep her at a distance without being disdainful.

As Hector and I had imagined, Menelaus tried to get his wife back. First of all, he came to Troy but he was unsuccessful since his wife hadn't been kidnapped against her will and Trojan law forbade to turn a host away once he had been welcomed. Thus, Menelaus had returned along with his older brother Agamemnon, allies and soldiers.

Things went on like this until Athena's feast at the beginning of the summer. Helen was about to join the procession along with the other royal princesses when Andromache shot her a cold, disdainful glare:

"Do you really need to stay among us princesses, lady Helen?" she asked bitterly.

"I know you don't like me, I can understand that" Helen answered in her uncertain Trojan accent "My ladies, once I made a promise I was not able to keep. I know it was my fault, but am I to be despised for that?"

"No." I answered before even thinking. Helen's words resembled so much my own story and I felt pity and sympathy towards her. Without another word I took her hand and headed to Athena's temple.

"How silly of me" I thought to herself "hating her as if she was the real problem here! All they want is to control the Dardanelles, Helen or not".

I felt I had behaved towards Helen with the same prejudice and despise her citizens reserved to me and so I felt ashamed of myself and I decided to start anew. From that day on, a sort of friendship developed between us; of course, I didn't joke, laugh or open up with Helen, but I gladly accepted Helen's silent company, her lack of prejudice, her kind and respectful behaviour.

We used to walk together or to stay in the temple since she wasn't afraid of snakes. I would help her practice with her Trojan and she would tell me stories about Sparta and the Achaean people.

Sometimes I even felt the desire to open up with her, to reveal my secret to her, but I kept it to myself. I hadn't told anyone, not even Hector or Aesacus. Helen was one of the very few people that I could trust in Troy and I didn't want to jeopardize her friendship.

-O- -O- -O-

"Achilles challenged me to a duel." Hector told me one day, years later.

I shivered. I knew that the time was coming before little time before my brother had killed Patroclus but still I felt my soul screaming in pain. I felt Apollo _floundering_ in my mind and I thought that maybe he had felt some of my anguish as well.

The war was slowly but defiantly destroying my city, not only killing my people and family but also cancelling what Troy had been; a cosmopolitan, curious, open city. I myself tried to behave as usual but I was consumed with grief, fear, anguish and most of all loneliness.

"Are you going to accept the challenge?" I asked back, knowing the answer in advance.

"I must. I am no coward."

"But Hector… had he to…"

"Kill me? The gods shall decide my fate: if I am to die I will, no matter what. I will do my best, dearest." he told me before leaving.

-O- -O- -O-

(general POV)

The night before the duel, Apollo silently watched Hector's sleeping figure.

"It is time for you to know, prince" he said softly, entering Hector's dream "You are not meant to outlive this duel. But I know you will be brave as you always are and you will fight all the same. Go say good-bye to your sister, my priestess. She knows." That said, he disappeared in the night.

-o- -o- -o-

I did not want to watch the duel because I had watched it so many times in my mind that the only idea of it turned my stomach. But I knew Andromache would have needed me on that day and stepping aside would have been pure cowardice.

That morning I woke up after an almost restless night and prepared to go to the duel. I felt a strong desire to visit my brother, to tell him good-bye, but why should I have put the boot in?

I was wearing my cloak when I heard his voice from behind me.

"Cassandra." Hector stood there and regarded me attentively, knowingly: I understood that he knew. I looked at him for a long moment, trying to memorize the spark of his eyes, the slight curve of his mouth while he smiled, the way he walked. His voice.

I fought back the tears and hurried towards him and we hugged for a long time, knowing what was to come.

"Take care of yourself, will you?" he asked "Don't let this horror destroy your heart as well as our city."

"I promise." I answered.


	6. Slaughter and Sharing

**Reviews are welcome!  
**

**Chapter 6: Slaughter and sharing**

I headed towards the walls expecting to see my family there. And there they were: my father, old but still majestic; my mother, whose life seemed entwined to Priam's; Deiphobus, pacing; Paris and Polyxena, who looked at me with equal disdain; Helenus, the brother I did neither love nor hate; Andromache, who smiled at me. Obviously, she didn't know: Hector was too generous to share such a burden with her. Aside from the others stood Helen and Aesacus and I joined them. Helen caressed my arm while Aesacus looked at me with that piercing gaze of his, his blue eyes gently scanning my soul.

Meanwhile, Hector had gotten out from the doors and stood in the plain, in front of Achilles. The challenge began. Hector was bold but it was clear to me that Achilles was stronger than him, boiling with rage for Patroclos' death; the Achaean attacked while my brother tried to defend himself. Then Achilles lifted his spear over his head and I froze: that was exactly the same scene I had seen in my dream years before and I knew what a horrible sight we were about to behold. I gripped Aesacus' hand so tightly that he turned to me with a gasp.

Then it happened. The spear hit my brother's neck, blood spilled. I felt dizzy and heard Andromache's muffled cry as Hector fell on his knees and coughed. We stood there, frozen, as the Achaeans rejoiced and my brother died. We stood there as Achilles hung Hector's body behind his chariot and started to ride. Pain stabbed me like a knife, so violent that soon I felt Apollo's soul whirling in my mind: apparently my feelings had reached him.

"My child" Aesacus murmured gently "Don't look, don't do this to yourself." I didn't told him that I had actually already seen that and I just let him take me away, to my family, where my father was speechless and trembling while my mother and sisters were crying.

I sat beside Andromache, caressing her hair, not knowing what to say. As much as I wanted it, I could not bring myself to cry, I am not very good at showing my emotions.

"You are as cold as a stone, Cassandra." Polyxena hissed from somewhere and I did not even bother answering or acknowledging her words. "You do not even shed a tear for your own brother!"

I badly wanted to punch her but tried to restrain my anger, understanding that she was distressed. Polyxena believes what you show and what you feel to be equal, so I am not sad unless I cry and tear my hair.

"Polyxena, please, don't." said Aesacus' unsteady voice from behind me "Don't you know how much Hector and Cassandra love and care for each other?" and thankfully my sister went silent.

Helen took my arm without a word and we went to Hermes' temple, where Aesacus prepared something hot to drink. In the fresh, quiet temple, surrounded by two of my dearest friends, I cleared my mind and accepted that my vision of many years before had finally come true. But still I couldn't bring myself to react even if I wanted so badly to sob.

I knew they would not have given my brother's body back to us so easily, but I honestly couldn't handle that too. There was only one thing I could do: "O Apollo, let him have a decent funeral, wherever it will be. This is all I ask of you."

-O- -O- -O-

(General POV)

"We cannot let this happen" Apollo declared during the gods' council, and despite his quiet voice and calm appearance, everyone knew he was not to be enraged.

"Hector's body has been disrespected and thus we have been disrespected as well. We cannot let this stay unpunished."

"And if your Trojans had won this challenge, would they have been gentle and respectful? Do you really believe that?" Hera asked bitterly.

"I am not speaking about ifs, Lady Hera. I am speaking about what happened yesterday." Apollo answered without flinching at her harsh words.

"Maybe you could steal the body" Artemis cut in, addressing Hermes.

"No." Athena's firm voice said "Hector was a brave warrior and his body must be returned properly." Athena had sided with the Achaeans but she was wise enough to tell the difference between battle and barbarity.

"And what do you suggest?"

"Hermes may escort Priam to Achilles and help him with some advice. So Priam would ask the body back and the restitution could be proper" she looked at Zeus for approval.

"Very well." he said "I see no reason that we should do otherwise. Are you up for that, Hermes?" he asked, knowing that Hermes had sided with the Achaeans too.

"Of course" the messenger nodded.

"In the meantime I will take care of the body, so that none of that shameful wounds they inflicted upon him will remain." Apollo concluded.

-O- -O- -O-

(Cassandra's POV)

I will forever remember the look on my father's face when he brought back Hector's body. And I will always remember Hector's body, beautiful as he had been when he was alive. I knew this was Apollo's merit.

We gathered in the market square before bringing him to the royal palace; so many Trojans came to pay him their respect. I already missed talking with him, laughing with him, watching him play with his child, it was almost unbearable.

We held his funeral and from that moment on I started feeling more lonely than ever: I knew that only a few week divided us from our destiny- and me from mine.

I knew many things were to come, I knew my brothers would have died, my city would have been destroyed, it was just a matter of time. And more than that, nobody seemed to understand: I felt so completely useless.

And then, for one of the first times in my life, I felt the urge to talk with someone, to share my fears, to seek comfort. In our city there were only three people I trusted and I thought Aesacus was the wisest of them all, so I went to him.

He was warm and welcoming, as usual when I visited him. He led me to the orchard and fetched me something warm to drink and he respected my silence without asking questions until I spoke first.

"Aesacus… what do you think about this war?" I started almost shyly. It was unusual for me to open up.

"That we will lose it. And very soon too." he answered quietly. This words startled me: there was at least one person who felt like me.

"Then I'm not the only one to think so." I said.

"Many people think that. They're only too scared to admit it - even to themselves." He observed.

"I can understand why they are so scared…" I whispered.

Aesacus fixed his gaze upon me: "You know something about this, Cassandra. I can see that." I lowered my eyes.

"My dear, why aren't you speaking your mind? At least with me…" he cooed.

"I am afraid you wouldn't believe me."

"And why so?" he asked, bewildered.

I could not tell him. I couldn't lose the person who felt like me, who comforted me. I was about to stand up when I heard his voice gently coaxing me:

"Cassandra, please. Why don't you just tell me what the problem is?"

And before realizing it, I had said: "It is my punishment."


	7. Unexpected Allies

**Chapter 7: Unexpected allies**

**I haven't updated for a while so I'm going to update two chapters today.**

Now I had to go ahead. Aesacus looked at me, not understanding:

"What punishment?"

"The punishment for spurning Apollo" I answered, my voice trembling.

"For _spurning_ Apollo? My dear, start from the beginning!"

And then I opened up. I told him everything, what had happened, my fear, my refusal, his rage. I told him about my visions, Hector's death, our city destroyed. He listened silently.

"Cassandra, why didn't you tell him?" he asked at the end. "What? _Sorry, but I don't want to be ruined by a god_? _Please, take back the gift I asked you so much_?"

Aesacus nodded: "Now I understand why you were so upset that night, when you had that terrible crisis" his voice was bitter, almost angry. I could see his rage was directed at Apollo, not at me.

"Cassandra, I am so proud of you. You have been really strong. Any other would have surrended. And you have managed not to lose your humanity too"

"But look at me! I am as cold as a stone, Polyxena was right."

He caressed my hand gently: "Polyxena is not right, dearest. And it is obvious that you need to be detached to sustain all of this. But I can say that you haven't lost your heart." I looked at him, grateful, and he smiled.

"Now at least you know that you are not alone. Should you need anything, I am here."

-O- -O- -O-

(general POV)

Aesacus paced through the temple. "How could he? Aren't there enough goddesses for him to pursue? He destroyed her" he thought to himself, angrier than ever "There _must be_ something I can do to help her!".

That very moment, he heard a kind voice from behind him: "Aesacus, my dear, what's up?"

The Lord of the temple, Hermes, stood next to the door.

Strange enough, Aesacus and his Lord were almost friends; Aesacus was Hermes' favourite priest and he visited whenever possible.

"Sir, I am so very angry!" Aesacus answered defiantly.

"What for?"

Boiling with rage, the priest told him.

"Aesacus, are you sure you can trust her?" the god asked at the end of the tale.

"Sir, I know her since she was born. She never lied to me, never."

Hermes went silent, thinking, then he said slowly: "I will try to help you"

"What?"

"I will talk to Apollo" Hermes' voice was cutting. "Believe it or not, he is not a bad person. But sometimes he is really too headstrong."

Aesacus was stunned. He loved Hermes dearly but he had not imagined that the god would have been so glad to help Cassandra.

"Sir…" he begun tentatively.

"Yes, my dear?"

"Why are you helping her? You barely know her…"

"That's not true. Both you and Apollo have told me many things about her, so I can say that I do know her. And besides, Apollo is wrong and I shall help him" Hermes appeared almost guilty, a strange enough thing. "I owe him so much, you can't even imagine." Hermes looked resolute: "I will help you, but at one condition. Cassandra must tell him the truth herself."

-O- -O- -O-

(Cassandra's POV)

I was in the temple that evening, at sunset. I was cleaning the floor when I perceived a deity beside me. I could tell that he wasn't Apollo. Then I saw him standing behind the altar; he appeared like a young man, with wavy brown hair and turquoise eyes and he smiled kindly to me. He was clad in a white tunic and cloak and the golden Caduceus hung from his waistbelt, so I knew he was Hermes. I looked at him with wide eyes: what could he possibly want from me?

"Good evening, Cassandra" he said gently. His voice was high-pitched and sweet.

"Sir…" I answered bowing to him, not knowing what to do. I do not meet a god every day but I could tell he was very different from Apollo.

"Cassandra, I know why you spurned Apollo"

"How…? Aesacus?" I breathed.

"Yes, thanks to Aesacus. Now listen to me: I can help you with this"

"And how so, sir?" I asked, not believeng that a god would have bothered to help me.

"I will persuade Apollo to talk to you about this." I shivered. Talking with Apollo about this was all but easy to me, how was I supposed to talk to a god?

Hermes perceived my discomfort: "Cassandra, I know what you are thinking. I'm afraid that you experimented all of Apollo's worst sides… and all of them together. But I can assure you he did _not_ want to use you, he does _not_ hate you and, most of all, he appreciates honesty. Promise me that you will tell him the truth, all of it."

He looked at me and I felt I could have trusted him.

"I will, sir."

-O- -O- -O-

(general POV)

"The war is coming to an end, isn't it?" Hermes asked his older brother that very evening. They were stradling in Olympus' gardens enjoying the gentle wind of the evening.

"Yes, it is." Apollo answered.

"I think it's time to forgive that girl, Apollo." the messenger began.

"I think it is not." the older god's voice was quiet, but it had an edge.

"But great Olympus! How can you be so damn proud?" Hermes confronted his brother and best friend with a furious glare but Apollo wasn't perturbed at all.

"It is not about pride and you know that." He answered calmly.

"Oh? Then you are just being vindictive and you are so headstrong you won't even admit that! I would expect more than that from you, Apollo." Hermes' voice was full of a cold fury and Apollo looked at him, now surprised. It was very unusual to see him so angry. The messenger went on:

"I would expect you to behave like a mature being, not like a _pigheaded_…"

"Hermes, beware of what you are saying to me." The older god interrupted, his voice still very calm.

"I _am_ bewaring, Apollo, and I am not finished yet. You must understand that she is human…"

"And then?"

"Let me finish!" Hermes all but yelled, and Apollo was even more stunned. His usually quiet and even shy brother seemed angrier than ever.

"You cannot expect her to behave like a goddes would! Like someone who knows you would! She was eighteen when you proposed, she was just a girl and very young people appear to make _errors_ sometimes! And besides, she's been punished more than enough. She has not much time left, let her be happy for a while!" Hermes looked at his brother defiantly, raising his chin and waiting for an answer.

"Are you finished now?" Apollo asked quietly.

"Yes." the younger god replied hastily.

"Hermes, I understand that your kind and generous spirit compells you to help her. But this is not about my pride and vindictiveness: she deceived me!"

"I deceived you too, but you gave me a second chance!" Apollo looked a bit surprised, he hadn't thought about this, and Hermes knew he was up to win the debate. "So a deception can be forgiven, even by you."

"She did not ask for my forgiveness."

"You did not give her an opportunity to do so!" Apollo went silent again.

"My dear, please. I don't ask you to forgive her _no matter what_… but at least talk to her." Apollo closed his eyes, thinking, then he said slowly. "I will, if it pleases you. But I cannot promise anything."

So the next morning, at sunrise, Apollo headed towards his temple.


	8. A Confrontation

**Chapter 8: A confrontation**

(Cassandra's POV)

On that night I couldn't sleep. I was so used to know what was going to happen, that I had forgot what it feels like when you don't know. I was so used to detach myself from the reality and this time I could not. I didn't know if Apollo would have come and when, but I instinctively trusted Hermes. I didn't know how to find the courage to tell him everything, I feared that I could have enraged him even more. But it would have been silly to waste Hermes' help, so I had to try.

Since I couldn't sleep, I got out before the sunrise and began to clean up the temple.

I was about to begin the morning rituals when I felt him, then saw him standing by the door, clad in white, expressionless.

I had not seen him from that terrible day when he had cursed me and for an instant I was taken aback by his devastating beauty.

"Sir" I said slowly, bowing.

"After all of these years" he answered without moving "is there something you want to say to me, princess?"

I breathed slowly. This was my last chance and I couldn't screw it up.

"Actually, Sir, yes. But I fear… you will not believe me."

"Go on." he prompted, still not moving.

"Last time we met… I was not entirely truthful with you." I began, but I immediately regretted those first words.

"I already knew that" he said coldly, and I shivered, not knowing whether to continue.

"Go on, princess"

"I mean" I said, my voice quivering "that I didn't want to deceive you. The reason why I refused you was another".

He didn't seem perturbed at all and simply asked: "And what was that?"

"When you gave me that gift… the following night I dreamt about Hector's death, Troy's destruction… I asked myself why you hadn't warned me about that. I asked myself how could you have… wooed me happily, knowing what expected me. I asked why you had bestowed that… _gift_… upon me, knowing what expected me and my family. And when you came back I felt… repulsed." My voice was unsteady and I was shaking visibly. Apollo didn't seem to notice it and answered icily:

"Princess, I bestowed that gift upon you because I thought and still think that you had enough strength and courage to manage. I do not find a suitable seer every day. What was your answer?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, confused.

"You said you asked yourself those questions. What were your answers?"

I opened her mouth to reply but I stayed silent. It seemed so disrespectful and I feared his wrath too much.

"Princess, this is your last occasion to speak about that. So explain yourself."

"I thought that the prophecy was a love-gift" I answered, trying to say it as quickly as possible.

"Prophecy is not to be taken lightly, princess, as I told you years ago. It was not a love-gift, I chose you because you were suitable." He seemed quite annoyed and his attitude wasn't helping me.

"And why didn't you give me that gift before proposing?" she asked, a bit accusingly.

"You thought I wanted a "yes" before giving you the gift, is it correct?" I hesitated but then nodded. I had learnt that lying to him was never a good idea.

"I thought that, had you known before my proposal, you would have felt compelled to accept it in order to avoid your destiny. This was the only reason." Now his voice was decidedly angry and I shivered, feeling the panic rise. It didn't seem to matter to him.

"I'm sorry I have misjudged you, I-I… " I stammered, not knowing how to fix it.

"Yes?"

"When I said 'yes' to you… I meant it. It was only when I got the gift that I began… to have doubts."

Now Apollo was frowning and I wondered why. But then he looked at me with his usual calm expression and asked: "Is there something else you wish to say?"

"Yes" and it was the most difficult part.

"Then say it."

"I wondered if…" I feared that I would have offended him and this time he seemed to perceive my uncertainty.

"Speak freely, princess" he said quietly, and I went on.

"I wondered if you really loved me… or if you just wanted to…" I lowered my eyes, I could not bring myself to say it.

"To use you?" he asked softly. He didn't seem angry anymore.

"Y-yes". He didn't reply and simply regarded me, so I continued. "I thought you only had a… temporary passion for me, that I was not… enough for you and that one day I would have become old and…"

"Yes?" Upon seeing my nervousness, he added: "Go on, Cassandra."

I didn't miss the fact that he had used my name after so many years.

"And what if I got pregnant?" I asked hurriedly, reassured by his kind attitude. "What future could a pregnant priestess have?" I paused. Apollo was in a deep meditation, looking somewhere over my shoulder.

"That's… that's all. I'm sorry I haven't been honest with you. But I did not want… to deceive you." He was still pondering and I waited for him to answer. I had to admit I felt much better; I wasn't sure I had convinced him, but at least I had tried.

He turned swiftly towards me: "I did not mean to use you, Cassandra. My feelings for you were deeper than that. Had you asked…"

"Asked! Of _course_!" I exclaimed. With a shiver, I became aware that I had shouted at him, but he didn't seem perturbed at all.

"How could I ask such a question to you, Sir?"

And then he said the last thing I was expecting to hear: "You are right, Cassandra. You have no reason to be sorry; it is I who should be."

I looked at him, bewildered.

"It has been quite insensitive of me. I should have understood that by myself." he went on. He was _forgiving_ me. No, he was asking _me_ to forgive him!

"And I should have spoken years ago, when you asked me to." I answered, trembling.

"Yes, you should have. But I am much more guilty than you are."

I just looked at him, not knowing what to say. It seemed incredible to me.

He regarded me very seriously: "Cassandra, your city's destiny is already written and we can do nothing about that. I also cannot take back my gift but I can take back your punishment. No one will think you crazy, now."

"Thank you, Sir"

"Also, I was unfair towards you and I shall compensate you for my mistake. But I will think about that after the war." I was silent, too stunned to speak up.

"For now, Cassandra, good day." with that, he disappeared.


	9. Not Proud of Myself

**Chapter 9: Not proud of myself**

Apollo sat in his room on Olympus, slowly stroking his lyre. He was playing an old tune he had composed many years before for his sister, Artemis. Playing music was his way of dealing with problems and he was so focused that he didn't hear the soft footsteps approaching. Finally, he perceived that someone was standing behind him and he turned. Hermes was there, his eyes gentle and understanding.

"I am an idiot" Apollo said.

"Just a bit" the younger god replied light-heartedly.

"You went to talk to her, is it correct?"

"Yes, I did."

Apollo didn't reply. Hermes thought he was really strange to see his usually quiet and confident friend so torn, so sad.

"I know why you were so reticent." Hermes said with his most gentle voice. Even from his position he could see Apollo freeze.

_Hermes and Apollo were sitting in front of the fireplace. It was a winter's night and they had spent quite a time there, confiding things to each other._

"_You know" Apollo murmured "She deceived me, she hurt me, she does not love me. But still I cannot stop thinking about her."_

"_It's been only three years, Apollo. That's a very little time for a god." Hermes answered softly._

"_I know. I have quit visiting her since that day but it has not worked." the older god went on without looking away from the flames._

"_Should she change her mind" Apollo went on slowly, pondering each and every word "I think I would be able to forgive her deception."_

"_Give yourself some more time, will you?" his younger brother cut in seriously._

"I know that she's been on your mind since…" Hermes went on gently.

"Don't say it. _Please_." Apollo all but whispered, without moving.

"My friend, don't do this to yourself."

"Why does everyone misjudge my intentions? You thought I was bribing her, she thought I wanted to use her… what is my problem?" Apollo asked, sounding almost desperate.

Hermes sighed. It was so rare to see Apollo like this. "My dear, you just seem so cold and distant… and maybe someone thinks that you don't care. Although you do care, I know that. In fact, no one knows that better than me." he added affectionately upon seeing the look on his brother's face. "And as for me" Hermes chided, smiling "you should have learnt by now thaa the things I say to you are often challenging."

"Thank you." Apollo replied seriously.

"Now what are you planning to do for her?" the younger god asked.

"I have something on my mind but I have to ask Athena's advice."

-O- -O- -O-

(Cassandra's POV)

Later that morning, I sat on a bench in the temple's gardens, thinking. One could think I was happy; actually I was not. I had gained Apollo's forgiveness but I could do nothing for my city all the same. Now I would have been respected again, but I found out that I didn't actually care for the respect of those who had neglected me. Nevertheless, Apollo's wrath had been very difficult to stand and I was grateful to Aesacus and Hermes.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a voice shouting from the temple:

"Princess, your brother…" I turned my head and saw one of Paris' slaves standing by the door:

"What happened, Myris?" I asked.

"Your brother, prince Paris, is wounded. Lady Helen requests your presence at the palace"

I got there quickly; Paris was sitting on his bed, his left arm, his shoulders and his legs badly wounded.

"Philoctetes… quite good with bow and arrows…" he explained, grimacing. Philoctetes had hit him almost everywhere.

I cleaned the wound and did my best for him but from my visions I knew that my brother was about to die.

"Will I make it, Cassandra?" Paris asked flatly

I sighed, not knowing what to say. Finally I answered slowly: "I've done all I could, Paris, but the wound is bad. We must wait at least one day…". I could have told him. He would have believed me. But I could not manage. I wasn't used to people believing to me and now I had to consider the impact my words would've had on others. I knew that, even if he believed me, I couldn't have changed his destiny. And maybe for the first time I understood that, had Apollo not cursed me, my life wouldn't have been that different after all.

"But you can make prophecies" he insisted. I looked at him and my eyes betrayed my thoughts.

"I'm going to die, am I not?"

"In a few days…" I whispered.

Paris lowered his head, defeated. Then, he added: "Sister, I apologize for being rude to you"

"Never mind" I said, embarassed "I can make you a potion… to ease the fever and the pain, if you wish"

"Yes, thank you"

"I will be back soon" I murmured, standing.

I headed towards the temple and couldn't help but curse myself. My offer to make a potion was just an excuse to escape from there. I couldn't tolerate such affection, such a confidence from the brother I was used to disdain, I couldn't tolerate to hurt him so much with the truth. For years I had successfully cooled my feelings and brotherly love in order to escape the pain and now Paris held out his hand and I was still angry with him, not used to share my feelings to anyone.

But most of all I was scared and I cursed myself for my stupid cowardice.

Soon I went back to him with the potion and forced myself to keep him company even if I badly wanted to escape again. I sat there and tried my best to make some small talk but I couldn't bring myself to open my heart to him. I left him at sunset, when his fever got so high that he didn't recognize me anymore.

That night, lying in my bed, I asked myself what Apollo was about to do with me. Sure he couldn't spare me that horrible fate since I hadn't married him. Maybe he could ease the pain. Maybe my death was not to be a painful one…

Then a swoosh made me turn my head: and there he was, standing by the door.


	10. Pondering

**Chapter 10 - Pondering**

(General POV)

On Olympus the boss was obviously Zeus but he often went abroad, usually to Ethiopia. In his absence, Athena ruled the place; she was Zeus' favourite daughter and he trusted her completely and agreed to everything she said.

Apollo found her in her quarters, reading. She already knew about Cassandra, probably Hermes had told her.

"You want to make her immortal, don't you?" she greeted him, and smiled wickedly upon seeing his expression.

"How do you know?"

"Because it is the only way to spare her that destiny and you know that." she explained.

Athena was really intelligent and she was not nerdish and by-the-book as someone believed. Her banters with Ares and Poseidon were legendary and she especially liked to hit them with her wry humor. She, Apollo and Hermes were good friends (and, as for Hermes, they probably would have liked to be something more) and could practically read each other's mind.

"Do you agree with it, Athena?"

"Yes. At least, immortality is a gift you can take back." she said bitterly, and he lowered his head, ashamed.

"Now, now, Apollo. Don't be like this." her voice was gentle as she caressed his arm "I agree but she shall agree as well to that, of course."

"Athena, I… do not think that I should be the one to ask her this. I fear she does not trust me at all and that she could misjudge my intentions again."

"Since she told you the truth, I believe she does. It's up to you to make her feel comfortable enough. You see…" Athena straightened and Apollo, despite his unhappy mood, felt the urge to smile: that was her '_I am going to lecture you_' attitude.

"You see, you must remember that she doesn't actually _know_ you. Explain everything to her, even those things that seem evident to you."

"Thank you."

Athena looked at him, perplexed: "And why are you smiling like that?"

"Oh… never mind, I was just wondering." he answered with a slight blush.

"And should she accept… will we have to proceed right now?"

"No. We must wait for the end of the war, there are still some things she is destined to do." He explained.

"Better then. She will have time to think about that. One last thing, Apollo…"

"Yes?"

"You know that each one of us can ask the gift of immortality for just one mortal. So please be careful next time, you will not have this possibility again"

"I think I have learnt my lesson. But thank you, anyway."

That very evening, Apollo went to Troy. His decision to visit Cassandra while she was in bed was not a casual one: he wanted to prove that he wouldn't have laid a finger upon her, that he was trustworthy.

-O- -O- -O-

(Cassandra's POV)

He startled me. He had never visited me in my bedroom before and despite the gentleness he had shown in the morning I felt uneasy – and suspicious.

He seemed to read in my mind: "There is no need for you to worry, Cassandra. I just wish to talk to you." My heartbeat slowed down and I began to stand.

"No, no. Stay." He took a chair and sat in front of me but at a certain distance from my bed. Nevertheless, I was wearing only my nightgown and I couldn't help but blush.

"Cassandra, I have thought about your situation. I believe that the only way for you to avoid your fate is to become immortal. My sister, Athena, and my brother, Hermes, agree with me."

I gasped at these words. I expected him to merely ease my pain and moreover I was quite wary of his _gifts_.

"You are not requested to give me an answer right now. You have time until the end of the war" Apollo added. His voice was somewhat detached but quiet, not hostile. I looked at him, not knowing what to say. A horrible fate was expecting me, unless… but I did not want to make another unwise decision. This was another gift that – in my opinion – could not be taken back.

Apollo seemed to read my mind again: "Immortality is a reversible process, Cassandra. You could reconsider your decision at any time, without consequences." He paused and sighed, he seemed… helpless, an unusual sight. "Cassandra, I do not mean to woo you with this proposal. I only wish to give you what you deserve in exchange for my mistake."

I didn't feel ready to give him an answer, I didn't even know if I could trust him. He was gentle, calm; but he had been gentle years before as well and he had punished me all the same. And there was another thing that restrained me from saying yes: after death I would have met my family again at least.

"Sir…?"

"Yes?"

"Should I accept… would I be allowed to meet my family?" I myself perceived the insecurity and frailty in my voice and tried to fight them.

"Of course you would" Apollo paused, then he looked at me with what seemed… embarrassment? "I had… imagined you would have felt this desire, and since Hermes is allowed to travel in and out of the Underworld I have personally asked him."

This had been really kind of him. He could not understand what it meant to loose someone, to miss someone… but he had thought about that all the same.

"Hermes went to talk with Hades and Persephone, the king and queen of the underworld. They said you would be allowed to visit your family at any time. They could not say "no" to Hermes."

"And why so?" I asked, surprised. Hermes did not resemble the vindictive god at all.

"They owe him a favor" Apollo smiled a bit, after so many years "In fact it seems that everyone on Olympus does owe Hermes a favor..." he added, lifting an eyebrow. I knew him from years and this was the first time he actually made a joke. He was obviously doing his best to make me feel comfortable.

However, I didn't want his kindness to push me too far.

"Thank you, sir. But I wish to think about that."

"Of course, there is no need to hurry. When you will make your decision just call me, I will hear you"

And with that, he left.

I tried to sleep again but it was useless to try, so I woke up and went out for a walk in the garden. I would have never imagined such an offer; other mortals had become immortal in the past, such as Ariadne and Heracles, but I was not a hero neither I was loved by a god. Not _anymore_. He was the Lord of my temple, I knew he was truthful. But I couldn't force myself to trust him even if he had been so very kind to me.

So, what to do?


	11. For once I don't know

**Chapter 11: For once I don't know what's going to happen**

**A.N. As for this chapter, I advise you to hear the song "Amore disperato" by Mina and Lucio Dalla. Since I can't find an English translation I'm going to translate the song myself on my profile page if you're interested.**

(Cassandra's POV)

The next morning I went to Hermes' temple. Aesacus welcomed me affectionately as he always did and I told him about Apollo's proposal. He was impressed; apparently Hermes hadn't told him.

"What will you do now?" he asked me.

"I… I honestly don't know, Aesacus. I mean, my life hasn't been a wonderful one so far and he himself assured me that… immortality is reversible. I would be allowed to visit my family in the underworld. I would like to accept, but…" suddenly I felt embarrassed. This was Aesacus, my dearest friend, but although I can eagerly tell him the things that happen to me, it has always been difficult for me to open up, to show my feelings and fears.

"Tell me, dear. I'm not going to judge you, you know!" he said with a gentle smile.

"But can I trust him? And would I really be happy there? I mean…" I lowered my eyes. This was so hard to confess.

"You fear that you would be a stranger there… as you feel now. Is it that?" his voice was understanding, soft.

"Yes. I don't believe I will feel… at home among them. But this is silly of me, I know that."

"It is not, Cassandra! You just wish to be happy once in your life, it's just normal." He paused and regarded me seriously, then he said: "And why don't you trust him?"

"Oh, I don't think he wants to woo me, not anymore. He's gentle and kind but… I'm afraid I will do something wrong. He's not easy to manage when he's angry…" despite Apollo's kindness, I shivered at the thought.

"My dear, if he really were the insensitive guy he wouldn't have offered immortality to you. He wouldn't have asked your forgiveness or felt guilty. I believe he has… learnt his lesson."

I considered his words. Actually, as a God he owed me nothing but he had been willing to listen, forgive… and repair.

"And more than that it's… unfair!" I added "So many people are going to die, Aesacus, so many have already died… I don't deserve this…" I was thinking about my nephew, Astyanax, and the horrible fate that expected him, but I couldn't bring myself to confess this to my friend.

"Cassandra, come on! I am mortal, I will die… but if you accepted I would not take offense. Neither would your brothers" he added softly.

I lowered my eyes, not knowing what to say.

"And you- Aesacus murmured –had learnt to speak up sooner when something troubles you." his glare was meaningful: he wanted me to spit out all of my feelings.

"I don't know what will happen to me, I don't know what my life will be and what is expected of me. My life has been difficult but at least I've always been totally independent as a priestess. Will I still be?"

My old friend smiled: "Ah, Cassandra, always the same. You always want to know what will happen in advance rather than finding out by yourself. But why don't you just… ask him?"

"Shall I disturb him for such a silly question?" I was really uncertain about this.

"Definitely yes! You must ask before taking your decision… whatever it will be"

"Very well, I will ask him then…" I said.

Suddenly Aesacus held his breathe and instructed: "Cassandra, look at me" I complied and I was rewarded by his most piercing look ever. I felt as he was digging in my soul with a shovel. "Oh, sweet Gods! You still love him!"

I was completely taken aback. Perceptive as he could be, I would have never imagined that he could read my mind like that. "I… was just asking myself that, I… don't know. Days ago I wondered how could I have fallen for him years ago… now I wonder if I had ever stopped loving him. I feel so drained and so repulsed at the same time… but I actually don't know if I still love him. Honestly, I… don't know" I was stammering, I knew that and it embarrassed me but Aesacus didn't make a single comment.

"I believe the only way to find out is to actually know him, my child" he murmured "If you really want to find out, I mean."

"So you suggest I should accept?"

"No, I suggest you do what you feel like doing, dearest. But I also think you should not refuse out of fear."

Honestly I could not believe that Apollo would have loved me, no matter what. It was too late. But I thought that, should I ever regret my decision, I would be allowed to die.

"Very well. I will ask Apollo what will be of me… and I will decide, depending on the answer" I stood up "Thank you, Aesacus. For everything. I wouldn't have told him the truth if you…" Don't even speak about it, Cassandra" he exclaimed with a laugh.

-o- -o- -o-

I thought about it for other three days. Then, one evening, I waited for everybody in the temple to go to bed, then I went in the garden and called Apollo. Soon he was next to me. "Good evening, Cassandra"

"Good evening to you, Sir" I answered with a bow "I'm sorry I have disturbed you"

"You have not, of course."

"I have thought about your offer… but I have a question. I'm afraid it is a silly one."

"Go on, ask me." he replied softly.

"Well, Sir… what would be expected of me? I mean… I have been very independent so far and I don't know if I will still be"

He regarded me seriously but I could tell he wasn't irritated by my question. "Your question is not silly at all, Cassandra. You would be as independent as you have always been. You will not have the powers of a goddess because you are not one but you would be allowed to go wherever you want, to spend your time with whom you wish. You would have complete freedom."

"In that case… I wish to accept your offer, Sir. And thank you" I answered, my voice slightly t

trembling.

"Very well. We will have to wait until the end of the war". He didn't seem perturbed at all by my answer, neither happy nor sad.

"Thank you, Sir" I answered, my voice shaking so much I feared I was about to cry.

-o- -o- -o-

The end of the war came fairly soon. Poets will tell you that we were tricked with a wooden horse; we were not _that_ stupid. Troy's walls fell because of an earthquake and the Gaieochos, the God who shakes the Earth, is represented by a horse, that's it.

I knew the earthquake was coming but I decided not to speak about it. You may think me cynical, but it's better to die while you're sleeping than be raped and stabbed in front of your own children. Who is meant to die will die anyway, who is meant to live will live anyway.

Polyxena and Helenus could not understand why I was so gentle with them on those days, Andromache could not understand why I played with her son so much. I did not tell them.

And then, one summer night, I felt the earthquake and shivered. And soon I knew they were coming.


	12. I bid adieu to Troy

**Chapter 12: I bid adieu to Troy**

(Cassandra's POV)

Soon the temple became full of wounded people, terrified both for the earthquake and for the approaching Achaeans. Myrrhine and I tried our best for them.

Bandagind and cleaning wounds, I tried to divert my mind from the increasing fear.

Thankfully, both Aesacus and Helen arrived soon; I had never been so happy to see them.

I heard their voices approaching, I heard the screams of the Trojans, I wanted so badly to scream as well.

And then he was there: Ajax the Lesser came in the temple, paying no respect to Apollo. When our eyes met his expression went wild and lustful and he moved towards me while I shivered so violently that I feared I would have fallen. This was the moment I have always dreaded. He was soon pressed upon me and I felt his horrible, calloused hands on my legs and hips; I fought back, knowing it was useless, and Aesacus approached to defend me.

And then, it happened.

A horrified look crossed Ajax' face and he immediately let go of me. He collapsed on the floor and was taken by the most horrible convulsions I had ever seen and I could recognize Apollo's wrath upon him. The other Achaean soldiers stood by the door, still and terrified, and when the convulsions stopped and Ajax rested pale and almost dead on the floor I looked at them defiantly and said: "You can see you shall not enrage the god." From that moment on, no one dared touch me or anyone other in the temple.

I inwardly thanked Apollo for sparing me, still shaking from the fear, and I felt his reassuring warm wave surrounding me: I was safe.

Soon my father was there, almost dead; I kneeled next to him, hugged him and fought back the desire to cry.

"My daughter, my daughter, take care. Don't ever forget our noble city" he murmured flatly.

"I will never forget Troy, father" I answered with a small voice.

My father smiled so weakly that he broke my heart: despite his age, he was still majestic and strong and frailty was not something I associated with him. I barely had the time to gather him in my arms and then he was gone.

"Cassandra" murmured Helen's worried voice next to me "I could not find Andromache and the child. I don't know where they are." A soft cry escaped my lips at these words.

I looked at her, meaningfully; she understood and then she was hugging me tightly. Embarrassed, I let go of her; I could _not_ cry, I had to stay focused, I _had_ to.

The lower part of the city was on fire and the morning was approaching; Troy was enveloped by an orange light that blinded our eyes. Finally I saw Andromache emerging from that light, horribly pale and torn, her curly black hair messy and her cloak ripped.

She sat next to Helen without a word and started sobbing; I sat beside her and hugged her, not knowing what to say. "He's dead, he's dead" she repeated "my son, no… no…" Aesacus rocked her gently, I gave her a calming potion, but it was clear to me she was destroyed forever. From that moment on, she didn't say a single word.

At sunset, Agamemnon and Menelaus came into the temple. Agamemnon, with his dark hair and beard and his wilde expression, Menelaus blonde and apparently weaker than his brother.

Menelaus immediately looked at Helen and could not avert his eyes from her, Agamemnon grunted: "Let us alone" addressing Aesacus. My friend was about to answer but I didn't let him:

"Don't move, Aesacus. You have conquered my father's palace, Agamemnon, but this temple belongs to Apollo and you will behave like a guest". He was furious but he tried to control himself; he feared Apollo too much.

Menelaus approached Helen carefully, took her hand and led her out of the temple, Agamemnon begrudgingly following them. Soon after he went back; this time he didn't come in but he stopped by the door.

"We have decided not to touch the priests because we don't want to enrage the gods, but the other women belong to us: they will be sorted between the captains."

And so my sisters and my mother were sorted as well; Odysseus was very kind to my mother and offered to take her to Ithaca and host her as a guest, but I knew my mother would have died before sailing.

As I had foreseen, they decided to sacrify my sister Polyxena on Achilles' grave, since he had once desired her; shivering, I prepared to hear her screams of pain that I had heard so many times in my dreams. But her screams didn't come: apparently Apollo had soothed her pain. Later I went to take her ashes; We often were on very bad terms but I wanted her to rest in Troy with the rest of our family.

I had never had that much of a relationship with my mother but I went to bid her good-bye; she seemed ten years old than the day before and maybe for the first time I noticed her gray hair and her deep wrinkles.

"My daughter, what will be of you?" she asked cupping my face with her hands. I was overhelmed by a tenderness I was not used to.

"The gods and the fate will provide, mother. Don't worry for me" After a pause, I forced myself to say: "I believe Odysseus and Penelope will be gentle with you." I hugged her, knowing it was the last time I could see her on earth, then I went back to the temple. I had to prepare the rituals for the dead.

Myrrhine decided to go to a nearby city where Apollo's priest had just died; I gave her one of my golden bracelets, portaying a wolf, one of Apollo's symbols. Aesacus decided to go to Crete on Hermes' behalf. I was so sorry that we had to divide, that I wouldn't have had his witty humour and gentle smile, but I knew one day I would've seen him again.

We performed the rituals and then bade good-bye to each other. I sat on a stone and looked at my city, the streets once so full of life, the crumpled houses, the market square where once so many voices and languages resounded, and finally the hill with the royal palace and Apollo's temple. I would have missed it deeply but I could not bring myself to cry. I badly wanted to cry, to sob, but I was so used to fight my feelings, to be detached, that not a single tear managed to escape from my eyes.

"Cassandra" said Apollo's most soft voice from behind me. I turned; he looked at me with a gentle, almost sweet gaze that was most unusual.

"Good morning, Sir" I murmured, not trusting my voice.

He approached carefully and took my hand in his; then everything went black.


	13. Getting Acquainted

**Chapter 13: Getting acquainted**

When I woke up I found myself in a soft bed, surrounded by white curtains. I felt incredibly tired. I opened the curtains and I could see I was in a huge room with many windows, from where a most shining light entered. Surely, I was among the gods. Looking around, I could see my room was decorated with many plants and flowers and simple, but fine, furniture. I could also recognize some of my possessions – the box where I kept my few jewels, my sacerdotal dress and other little things.

I felt dizzy, not knowing what to do or where to go, but then I heard Apollo's familiar presence in my mind:

"Cassandra, if you wish to take a bath, there is a bathroom next to your bedroom. On the table you will find some food if you wish to have breakfast. Athena has made you a dress you can find on the table next to your bed. When you will be ready, we will come… Hermes and I will come to greet you".

I complied. On the table I found warm milk, freshly baked bread, honey and fruit; I just had a few sips of milk and a slice of bread. The bath was hot and perfumed; I found a bottle of bathing oil whose honey smell seemed delicious to me. Finally I wore my new dress, a really beautiful dark purple dress that suited my body perfectly.

"I am ready, Sir" I said in my mind, and soon Apollo and Hermes were there.

Apollo was, as always, astoundingly beautiful in his white toga and cloak; his eyes were calm but distant, as usual. He bid me good morning and then he went completely silent.

Hermes smiled cheerfully at me: "Welcome among us, Cassandra. If you wish, we can take you for a trip"

"Yes, sir, thank you"

I found out we were in a huge palace where each of the god had a room. "We don't actually live here" Hermes explained to me "We have our houses elsewhere but we usually meet and party here. Don't worry" he added "there is always someone here, you will never be alone."

The palace also had a great, marvelous hall for the assemblies and another hall for the banquets. "In ten days we will have a banquet. You are clearly invited."

"Thank you, sir" I told Hermes. Actually I didn't feel like having a party at the moment; though they were really kind to me, just a day before I had lost my parents, my family and my beloved city. I knew I should have tried to distraught myself but I also felt it was not the moment yet.

We went out in the gardens. Most of the trees, plants and flowers that were there were completely unknown to me and I couldn't decide where to look, this place was incredibly beautiful.

Apollo was still silent and though his silence was not a hostile one I was beginning to feel uncomfortable; after all, I had been untruthful with him and I could understand he was still upset with me.

"Hum… I have some advice for you, regarding the other gods" Hermes said, interrupting my thoughts "Let's start with Ares: he likes to begin a new relationship with a nice fight" he laughed softly "So he will try to taunt you. You have to answer him in the most hasty way ever, don't be shy. Otherwise he will taunt you forever"

"Understood" I told him.

"You know, Cassandra, there is _someone_ here" Hermes cleared his throat addressing Apollo with a movement of his head "Who thinks that it's not _dignified_ to answer to a provocation" he pronounced this words seriously, straightening his back like Apollo used to do, and I had to keep myself from laughing. "And for this reason" Hermes went on cheerfully "Ares still taunts him everyday".

Apollo shot him a deadly glare that made me shiver, but Hermes didn't appear impressed at all: he simply smiled and looked impishly at him.

"You-are-a-complete-nuisance!" Apollo chanted with a soft laugh. It was the first time I saw him laughing.

"That's why you loooove me!" Hermes answered with a smile "So, Cassandra, don't be nice with Ares."

"There will not be particular problems with the other gods, I believe" said Apollo finally "You will get used to them." He was talking, at least!

"Oh, there's another thing" Hermes added "Artemis, Apollo's sister, is really mean. Don't talk to her too much… she's a bit crazy too"

"This is not true" Apollo interrupted sternly.

"Is she not mean?" Hermes sounded incredulous.

"She is very mean but she is not crazy" Apollo explained patiently, giving Hermes a soft slap behind his head. I would have never imagined Apollo could be like this; despite being gentle he was always so serious.

At the end of our tour Hermes accompanied me back to my bedroom while Apollo went away. "Cassandra" Hermes told me softly in front of my door "This morning I escorted your family to the underworld. They will be all right. When you wish to meet them, just call me."

"Thank you, Sir" I murmured softly, trying to control my voice.

"We'll pick you up for lunch then" he added gently "So you'll meet some other member of this crazy family."

As he had promised, Hermes returned lately to pick me up for lunch.

"Obviously, if you prefer to be alone for a while you are welcome, you can have lunch in your room"

"In this moment I don't feel like being alone, thank you" I told him, grateful for his kindness.

We went to a nice, little room next to the garden. Apollo was waiting for us together with another goddess. She had dark green eyes and black, curly and short hair, and was clad in an orange tunic. She resembled Apollo, so I thought she had to be Artemis.

"Cassandra, this is my sister, Artemis" Apollo told me, and I bowed to her.

"Good morning, lady Artemis"

"Nice to meet you, Cassandra" she answered softly with a juvenile voice.

On the table there were some different types of bread, water and wine, many types of cheese and then vegetables and fruit. I was not very hungry but the bread had a delicious smell and so I took a slice of it along with some olives and figs.

"And how are you, sweetheart?" Hermes asked Artemis, lovingly.

"I am not your sweetheart!" she bellowed.

"Luckily for me!" he chided, but he had to jump back because Artemis threatened to slap him.

"You see, Cassandra? She's evil!" Hermes told me with puppy eyes that made me actually laugh.

"But it's your fault!" I replied, hoping he would not take offense. He looked at me desperately while Artemis laughed out loud.

"You see? Cassandra is on my side, you nuisance!"

"Cassandra, you're evil too!" Hermes said, crossing his arms and turning his back to me, but he was obviously amused.

On that moment, another goddess approached. She was even taller than Apollo and had long brown-honey hair and piercing blue eyes: she had to be Athena. She immediately smiled at me: "Good morning everybody and welcome, Cassandra"

"Thank you, milady" I answered shyly.

"Athena, take a seat. We have just begun" Apollo told her.

She sat among us and so we ate together. They treated me almost as a member of their family, which I was not, and I felt so welcome that I almost forgot how much sad I was. I didn't talk too much but they let me be, just assuring themselves that I was comfortable. Apollo didn't say a single word to me but he filled my glass and from many signs I could tell he was not angry at all. Artemis liked to bicker both with Hermes and with Apollo but she was really kind to me. Athena was serious, not cheerful like Hermes, but witty and gentle. Hermes looked at her with a peculiar, radiant smile and it seemed to me something was in the air between them.

"Cassandra, Apollo told me that you are a cultured young woman and that you are able to read" Athena said. "Yes, milady. Aesacus, my teacher, taught me how to read and write"

"In this case, there is a room you should visit. I'm sure you will like it!" she said eagerly, with a smile "After lunch I will take you there if you wish."

"It's very kind of you, milady" I said.

And so, after lunch, I followed her.

She took me in the most incredible place I had ever seen; four high walls were entirely covered in wooden shelves and on the shelves there were strange, rectangular objects I had never saw before.

Athena took one of that objects and opened it: it was made with a sort of papyrus and I could recognize some phrases written in Trojan upon it. "This is called a book, Cassandra. We use to write on these books." _**(Author's note: yes, I suppose the gods are quite advanced)**_

"And what about this room, milady?"

"This is called a library, which means that it contains many books. When you wish you can come here and read, there are many books written in your language. You can also take the book with you but beware: after some time it will come back here by itself."

For the first time from the day before, I felt happy for an instant: I love to read and I absolutely love stories, poems and songs!

"Thank you, milady! I like this place very much!" I told her happily.

"Never mind. Now, if you'll excuse me, I shall go. You may stay, if you wish. Oh, and Cassandra…" she turned again towards me.

"Yes, milady?"

"Don't let us worry you. I mean, Hermes is always a nuisance, Artemis always gets angry, Apollo always acts as if he was made with ice… but we are better than we appear. Do you wish to come to the party?" I was completely taken aback by this unexpected question.

"I… am glad that you invited me, milady, but I honestly don't know if I am already… up for it."

"Don't worry. No one would hold a grudge towards you should you decide not to come. But a party is an occasion to meet some rather… peculiar… people you wouldn't see very often otherwise. So, think about it!" she said with a smile.

And then she left. I stayed in the library all the afternoon, reading book after book.

Finally I decided to go to the banquet, let only for some time. I asked Hermes the permission to visit my family the day after the party and he accepted my request. Apart from Apollo, Athena, Hermes, Artemis and a few others I hadn't met other gods, not even the famous Ares, and I was somewhat curious about them.


	14. The Party

**Chapter 14: The party**

On that evening, Apollo and Hermes went to pick me up just after sunset. In his shining blue tunic, Apollo was so beautiful that he almost took my breath away. Hermes wore a dark turquoise dress that matched his eyes' colour; he was really handsome but, in my opinion, nothing compared to Apollo. As for me, Athena had made me a dark green dress, simple but elegant, and I also wore some of my golden jewels.

"You could rival with Aphrodite this evening, Cassandra" Hermes told me, chivalrous, and I blushed slightly.

We went in the hall, where many gods had already arrived. I recognized Artemis, in a dark yellow dress, and Athena in a white one she had surely tailored by herself.

"That god over there is Haephestus, the smith god" Apollo told me, addressing a rather strange god. He was fairly beautiful but nothing compared with the other gods and had short dark brown hair that matched with a short brown beard. He was talking to an astoundingly beautiful goddess; she was blonde, gracious, with big violet eyes under long eyelashes. She had to be Aphrodite.

"And his companion is the one you rival with" Apollo concluded with a soft, detached voice.

"I think I do not rival with her" I answered softly, and Apollo said nothing.

Suddendly, my attention was caught by a woman wearing a long black dress and a black veil on her head; I was not able to see her face at all. I wondered who she could be.

"She is Hestia" Hermes told me, perceiving my curiosity "She is very shy and doesn't like to show her face. But she is the gentlest of all the gods, I can assure you". Hestia turned to us and raised a hand in greeting, then went on walking, her black gown dancing around her.

"Oh-oh. We are in trouble" Hermes murmured. I turned: a tall and muscular god was advancing towards us. He had black hair and dark skin and wore a short, dark red tunic. He could be no one but Ares. "Be ready" Hermes warned me.

"Good evening, Ares"

"Good evening to you. And are you our latest novice?" he asked me.

"Yes, sir.-

"Poor girl. I bet staying with those two has not been very entertaining." He shot a glare towards my companions.

"Actually, everything has been really entertaining… until some moments ago" I answered with a meaningful, cold voice.

He turned, irritated: "Very well. Another crazy one" and he went away.

"I am in good company, so it seems!" I shouted after him, but he didn't turn.

I turned towards my companions and found both of them smiling. "You were cool!" Hermes said appreciatively, and I smiled as well.

I met many other gods that evening: Zeus and Hera, Persephone and Hades (whom I thanked for letting me visit my parents), Hebe, Dyonisos and Ariadne and many others. We went on talking and eating snacks (I especially recall some biscuits made by Hestia, that were the most wonderful thing ever) and sipping wine. They were kind and polite: they asked question about myself and what I liked to do but they never talked about the war or went too personal, and I felt at ease.

I could immediately tell Ariadne had once been human; she was very beautiful with her dark skin and long, black hair tied back in a bun, but she didn't seem to glow like the other gods.

At some point she approached me with a smile and started chatting with her slight Cretan accent:

"Cassandra, what do you think about this place… and about these people?"

"Uhm…" I answered, and she laughed.

"Well, that's a good answer!"

I smiled: "Everyone… well, _almost_ everyone is very kind. But, as you probably can understand, I don't know how to _behave_ with a god!"

"Neither did I. But don't worry, you'll soon feel part of the family. Hera tends to keep you at a distance- not because you're human, just because, you know, she is the queen. Ares lets you think he hates you…"

"He lets me think he hates everyone, actually…" I interrupted, and she laughed again.

"Oh, no, he just hates Apollo, Artemis and Athena… well, especially Athena, actually. You'll see that by yourself. But don't worry about him, he's not that mean after all."

"Better then…" I murmured.

"You know, I understand. At first I felt uneasy too, both because I didn't know what to say to a god and because I thought someone wouldn't have been happy about a human marrying a god. But they accepted me as a sister… and now I feel that I belong here."

She was trying her best to put me at ease and I appreciated that.

"It's… awkward to actually meet you. You see, my teacher was -well, he is- Cretan and he told me many stories about you. At the time I didn't think I would've had a chance to meet you…"

Ariadne laughed: "I suppose he told you about the Minotaur!"

"Of course. That can be scary when you are seven years old!"

"Obviously the story of him being half human and half bull is false…" she went on, more seriously "He was just crazy, Cassandra, very much so. He was very violent, thus my parents decided to lock him away in a wing of the palace – the Labyrinth."

I listened silently. I didn't expect her to open up with me.

"He didn't actually eat people. But once he killed a servant and sometimes he would badly wound the slaves and even us, when we visited. We had to send the prisoners to him because anyone else refused. Once, while I was with him, he almost strangled me… Theseus was our prisoner and he saved me just in time. But… he had to kill him."

Ariadne's voice was now unsteady.

"I'm sorry I brought this out, Ariadne. I didn't mean to…"

"Don't worry, Cassandra" she reassured me, smiling again "You see, the gods are very kind but they don't know what it means to face death or madness. So it's actually good to speak with someone who understands."

After this I felt like telling her something about my family. She was the first person I talked with about my nephew and this was entirely unlike me: I wasn't used to share my thoughts with others, let alone strangers.

Later Ariadne became my first true friend on Olympus.

-o- -o- -o-

At some point Hermes patted my shoulder: "Cassandra, Apollo is going to play"

"To play?" I asked, not understanding.

"Yes, he uses to play the lyre at parties."

I stood and followed him until we were in the centre of the room: Apollo sat on a stool and kept the lyre on his lap, his eyes quiet and focused. I had never heard him play and I was very curious about it.

As soon as we gathered around him, he began. After some time I found out that I couldn't figure exactly where I was or how much time I had been there for; his music was intoxicating, almost forcing my soul out of my body. When he finished I stood there, transfigured, while the crowd cheered.

A moment later, a beautiful, blonde goddess I had never seen before sat next to him. She had very long golden hair and big green eyes and treated Apollo like she was on familiar terms with him.

"She's Calliope, one of the Muses" Hermes murmured in my ear "She and Apollo use to play together often"

And actually Apollo started to play again while Calliope sang along in her wonderful, melodious voice. But even if the sound of the lyre and her voice melted perfectly and it was a pleasure to listen to them, I couldn't help but notice the way they looked at each other and smiled at each other. Obviously there was some intimacy between them and, most to my surprise, this thought didn't leave me indifferent.

At the end of the duet they both stood and we went back to the party.

-O- -O- -O-

At some point I felt I needed some time by myself and searched for Hermes and Apollo to bid them good night. Since they weren't anywhere to be seen in the hall, I went in the gardens.

"I am going to take a holiday, I am leaving tomorrow." Apollo's quiet voice said from somewhere in the garden and I stopped, not wanting to interrupt a conversation. I was about to leave when I heard Ares' voice as well: "Ah, so you are escaping."

"I am not escaping. I merely wish to take a holiday." Apollo's voice was still very calm.

"Whatever. How casual, you need a holiday just after Cassandra's arrival. I still think you are escaping". Ares was being unfair, Apollo was certainly not one to escape.

"What I choose to do is none of your business and besides I do not care for your opinion that much" Apollo's voice was still soft but it clearly had an edge.

"Of course. But I believe Cassandra would agree with me about this. She will think you are a coward, and how could you blame her?".

How dared he? I waited for Apollo's answer but he stayed silent. Boiling with rage, I stepped in.

The three of them looked at me: Ares, with a victorious gleam, Apollo, apparently unperturbed, and Hermes, irritated like I had never seen him.

"Ares, I would like you not to speak in my name." I spat furiously. He didn't answer. I turned towards Hermes and Apollo: "Good night. And enjoy your holiday"

"Thank you, Cassandra.- Apollo answered softly, with the hint of a smile.


	15. In the Underworld

**In the underworld**

The next morning I woke up very early and dressed silently, thinking about what was to come. I didn't know if I was actually ready to meet them but at the same time I couldn't wait. I wanted so much to see him that I was willing to suffer rather than waiting.

Hermes went to pick me up while the sun was rising. We walked silently in the gardens until we were out of Olympus' gates. Then he took my hand and I felt everything whirling around me, I felt my body becoming light and evanescent, my feet leaving the ground. When I touched the ground again, a little dazed, I found out we were in a sort of cave where a few sunrays filtered from a small opening.

Hermes was beside me, still holding my hand. –Now I will accompany you, Cassandra- he told me softly –You shall remember that you will not be able to touch him… any of them. I'm sorry but this is something even Hades can't repair- I understand- I answered, my voice a bit unsteady. "Follow me" he murmured with his sweet voice, and I complied. We walked along a stone corridor until we finally came out from the cave. I could se we were standing in a green meadow surrounded by trees, under a cold but clear sky. This was not what I expected and I turned towards Hermes, surprised. He smiled, understanding my thoughts: "The Underworld is not so different from the Earth, after all. Now, Cassandra, turn right and walk: you'll find him in a few minutes."

"Aren't you coming?"

"I would never dare. I'll come to pick you up in a few hours."

With a smile he turned and disappeared. I followed his instructions until I could see him. Him.

He was sitting under a tree, his back against the trunk, and from that position he couldn't see me. I stopped silently, watching him from afar. I studied the black, short hair, the dark skin, his slender but muscular figure, his strong hands distractedly playing with the glass. I stood still for several moments, fighting the urge to run and hug him because I knew I wouldn't have been able to hug him.

When I was able to catch my breath I went on. He turned towards me and stood, smiling. _Oh, Gods, his smile. _"Cassandra!" he cried happily, running towards me. He lifted his arms as if he was going to hug me but then suddenly put them down. I murmured his name and the I couldn't speak anymore.

"Cassandra, you're more beautiful than ever! You seem to glow, my sister. What did they do to you?" he told me appreciatively, looking at my figure. He obviously knew that I had become immortal.

"It's a silly thing to say but I am so happy. I missed you so much, Hector."

"I know, my dearest. I missed you too"

I forced myself not to tell him about the war, about my personal sufferings and about our family; things he surely knew better than me. But it was him who asked me.

"How have you been lately, Cassandra? It shouldn't have been easy for you…"

I told him about the end of the war (omitting as much as I could) and about my first days on Olympus, and I talked and talked until I almost forgot where I was and I felt as if I was back in Troy, almost expecting to see the old walls and the streets around us.

"You shall thank Apollo for me, my dear. He has been very kind with me, taking care of my body. And he was kind to you as well in the end…" he added carefully.

"I will thank him. But now tell me about yourself, about… here!"

"Well, it's fairly similar to Earth, as you can see" he said shrugging, as if he was talking about the weather "and I have met our family" he added with a soft quiver in his voice. "The most hard thing is that we cannot touch each other and that we rarely have… the desire to touch each other anyway. It's… awkward."

He probably understood that I, instead, actually had the desire to touch him, because he dropped the subject almost immediately.

"I'm so happy you've been allowed to visit us, Cassandra. The others will be happy as well."

"Where are they?" I asked softly.

"Follow me" he answered entering the brush. We walked together for some moments until we found ourselves in a small glade. My family was there.

My mother and father, Astyanax, Polyxena, Paris… they were all there.

They surrounded me asking questions and prying me; it should have been normal but coming from them it was not. I was so used to be ignored by the most part of my family that I didn't know how to react to this.

I sat among them and started to tell what had happened to me; I could feel that my words seemed cold and detached, that, unlike with Hector, I was merely telling facts and not a single one of my emotions. But I could not share myself with them, with those fifteen pair of eyes looking at me. Fifteen pair of almost unknown eyes, by the way. It was good to see them, of course, but I wasn't able to be on of them. Not before and most certainly not now.

Hector seemed to perceive my uneasiness because he dragged me away very soon, promising that I was allowed to visit them at any time and that I would have been back soon.

We returned where I had first found him and we talked a little more. About how he felt guilty because he believed he should have striven to prevent the war. About how I have felt useless and frustrated for all those years. About how he was happy of the time we had spent together during our life.

Finally I felt Hermes' presence approaching. I took leave of my brother, struggling more than ever not to hug him, and went back in the cave where Hermes was already waiting for me. We didn't exchange a single word along the street; I was in no mood for talking and he seemed to understand that well.

Even if I had just seen them and talked to them, now I felt terribly alone. I felt as when I was about to become a priestess, back in Troy, and I had to spend a month without being touched by _anyone_ before my consecration. I suppose you don't understand how important is a human – or godly- touch until you are deprived of it.

Suddenly I became aware that we had already entered Olympus' gates and that we were almost in front of my door. Hermes looked at me with gentle, understanding eyes and then hugged me tightly, like a brother. I needed a touch – anyone's touch- and I accepted it gladly, holding myself together as he held me.

"See you later, Cassandra" he said softly when we parted.

"Thank you" I whispered to him.

-O- -O- -O-

My first months on Olympus went on like this. I often went to visit my family, slowly getting used to them and to their intangibility. I got acquainted to the gods and I felt free to read and learn as I had always wanted, I also found some friends.

Sometimes I was still taunted by horrible dreams but I tried my best not to think about them; luckily they were unfrequent and they become even more unfrequent over time.

But something was missing.


	16. The Missing Piece

**Chapter 16: The missing piece**

Seven years passed. Slowly, I got used to Olympus and to the gods, I got used to reading and studing, learning new things. Sometimes I was still taunted by horrible nightmares like the ones I had back in Troy; at least I knew it was over and I could always visit my late family down in the underworld.

I had a relaxed, easy-going relationship with all the gods – except from Apollo.

He was always very gentle and kind, of course. He tutored me about music and books, invited me to concerts and banquets along with Athena, Hermes and Artemis; he often invited me to dinner with them as well. But he never went personal. Of course, I didn't expect him to reveal his deepest secrets to me, but I noticed I didn't even know what music and books he liked most or what he liked to do. He never joked with me like he often did with Hermes and Athena. After what had happened between us, I didn't feel like being the one to take the first step, so we actually didn't have any relationship. On the other hand, I estabilished a strong friendship with Hermes, Athena and even Ariadne, who, being human like me, had helped me getting acquainted with my new world. I aksed myself so many times what my feelings towards Apollo were but I could not find an answer; I was not in love with him and he wasn't even a friend, but at the same time he was more than a friend - perhaps even more than a lover. I was still bound to him by my priesthood and I could not severe this link – neither I wanted to.

I waited years for him to make the first step; a friendly step at least, but he did not. But I could tell he was neither hostile nor cold towards me: why did he behave like that?

At some moment, things began to change. I felt again drained to him, I desired again to have him beside me. I missed him when he was away but when I was with him I felt so uneasy that I wanted to go away. When he played his lyre I sat there and I could not avert my eyes from him, from his delicate hands stroking the strings, from his focused, burning yet quiet eyes, I felt I could have lost myself in his enchanting melodies. I wanted to know what happened in his thoughts when he played, to know him, to _touch_ him. And still I could not force myself to make a step or even to feel at ease with him.

I tried without success to suppress my growing feelings; he didn't seem to notice them anyway.

I considered talking to Aesacus (who, by the way, had just died) but he didn't know Apollo at all, so I decided to talk to Hermes.

"Why is he like that?" I asked, perplexed.

"Apollo doesn't open up easily, you should know that" he answered with a smile "and besides, you are not so different from him after all. I bet he is asking himself why the Hades are you so detached"

This startled me: "Am I?"

He laughed: "Of course you are! You never tell anything about yourself unless someone asks you… and since Apollo does never ask he actually doesn't know anything about you"

I considered this words for a while. "Has he told you this?"

"No, but I know him. I bet he's more perplexed than you are, Cassandra"

"But I can't make the first step, after what happened to us…"

"Ah, I see!" he said triumphantly , with a malicious smirk "You would like a _first step_!"

"I was not meaning that, you brat!" I exclaimed, but I had to blush.

"Were you not? At all? Really?"

I sighed: "Not necessarily. Actually I don't know."

"Ah, that's better! I think you should take the first step, Cassandra. He's even more paranoid than you are!"

"I am _not_ paranoid!-

"Of course you are!-

-O- -O- -O-

(Apollo's POV)

"Apollo, there's something I want to ask you"

"Tell me, Hermes"

"Why are you so aloof with Cassandra?" I looked up at him. I had not expected this question.

"Because she is aloof with me too. So I understand she would not like a relationship – any kind of relationship- between us".

"But how can you be so sure? Maybe you should try to get more acquainted to her, just a bit."

"I cannot" I answered softly.

"And why?" his voice was curious, innocently curios, like a child's voice, and it made me smile.

"Very well. I will tell you, but you will **not** laugh."

"Go on" he prompted.

"She scares me" I murmured.

"What? Can you repeat that?" he answered unbelievingly.

"You heard me! She scares me and she makes me… uneasy."

He laughed out loud.

"This is not funny, Hermes. I am opening up to you." I spat out angrily and went on my feet.

"Don't move" he pressed a hand on my shoulder and made me sit down again. "My dear, excuse me. I didn't want to poke fun at your feelings." his expression was serious and affectionate but I didn't reply.

"I laughed because… well, I'm not used to see you "scared" and "uneasy". Why are you feeling like that?" I looked at him sternly, not saying a word.

"Oh, come on! I promise I will not laugh." he said gently, with puppy eyes.

"Do not look at me like _that_. She scares me because after what I did to her, should I take a step towards her she would probably say "go to Tartarus". I could not stand that."

"She's done a good job with you, indeed." he replied.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you are in lo-o-ve!" he chanted.

"I am not in love."

"I am not stupid. Neither blind." he retorted, defiant.

"I am too scared by her to let myself fall in love with her"

"You are being irrational. Soon you'll not be able to control yourself and you know that."

"Are you going to lecture me? Because in that case I should speak about a _certain goddes_ you have not tried to pursue yet, even if the two of you are flirting from centuries!"

"At least I admit I'm in love with her!" he protested, blushing.

I felt silent for awhile.

"Very well. I am in love with her. Are you satisfied now?"

"Very much so!" he said happily "What are you going to do now?"

"Absolutely nothing, I told you."

"Apollo, was she really so angry with you, she would not accept your invitations, she would not seek your advice about art… she would simply be disdainful."

That was true, but I believed Cassandra was simply being polite.

"You should do something" he stated.

"You too, Hermes."

He blushed furiously: "We are not talking about me!"

"Very well. I will think about that, thank you"

OOO

(Cassandra's POV)

One day Apollo and Poseidon had a really nasty argument about Odysseus. The gods had just finished the council and I happened to be there, so I heard all of it. Poseidon won't let Odysseus get back home because the king of Ithaca hurt Polyphemos, Poseidon's son. His fellow gods, on the other hand, wish Odysseus to return home.

"Yes, Odysseus hurt your son. But you seem to forget that Polyphemos killed Odysseus' fellows and tried to kill him as well while they were his guests." Apollo pointed out calmly. I had to agree with him about this, even if Odysseus was my city's enemy.

"They tricked and blinded him!" Poseidon growled back with a venomous glare.

"Did he have other options? They were going to be killed."

"No one asked them to enter Polyphemos' cave without permission." Poseidon retorted. Apollo's face was still very calm and his voice soft and reasonable but I perceived that he was beginning to get angry.

"Hospitality is sacred. The same goes for the gods and their offspring."

"Are you saying Polyphemos deserved it?!" Poseidon asked angrily. Apollo merely raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, he deserved it. Moreover, your desire to harass that man is quite irrational and makes me think that you know perfectly well who should be blamed." Apollo hissed furiously, but still he didn't lost his composure.

An angry blush formed on Poseidon's face and he made strides towards Apollo until he was in front of him.

"Look who's talking about _harassing_!" he barked, lightly pushing Apollo back.

I was so stunned at Poseidon's aggressive attitude (and at Apollo's stillness) that I couldn't say a word. The gods began to come out from the assembly hall, surprised by Poseidon's shouts.

"You _harassed_ Cassandra for almost ten years just because she broke your poor little heart and now you dare to tell me that I shouldn't harass Odysseus for almost _killing_ my son? That _I_ am irrational? What have _you_ been?"

I froze at these words. Apollo was still, his gaze blank, and all the gods were looking at him – and at _me_. I wanted to shake him, I wanted him to react. But Poseidon wasn't finished yet:

"I can't blame her for hating the very _sight_ of you, as _every_ single woman you pursue does! So don't you dare to lecture _me_!"

My temples were throbbing with anger and when Poseidon turned to go I stood in front of him:

"I think you are an irrational _tool _and, believe me, you are the only person I feel harassed by." I had probably gone too far but I didn't care; I pushed him aside and went away without looking back – without looking at Apollo as well.

OOO

I went to the gardens and I sat on a bench, breathing slowly to calm myself. I was mad both at Poseidon and at Apollo and I couldn't decide whom I wanted to _strangle_ the most.

"Thank you." said Apollo's soft voice from behind me. I stood, turning to face him:

"Why didn't you say something?" I hissed, trying to keep my voice low.

"Because I thought that you would have agreed with him and I did not want…"

I swear I would've _killed_ him. "That I would have _agreed_?! How can you think that?" I almost shouted.

"Because I mistreated you." he stated.

"Without your punishment my life and my powers would've been the same. Had you wanted to hurt me, you would've punished me more harshly."

"I misjudged you" he added.

"I misjudged you too. We're all square."

"I was cold and distant with you." he went on.

"Had you wanted to be distant, you would have severed our link." I pointed out. I had meant my words to be gentle but my voice was brisk and matter-of-factly and I felt I was screwing it up.

"Still, I managed to do something wrong since you refused me in the end." Apollo said almost bitterly.

"I shouldn't have." I whispered.

I could hear his breathing stop.

"Are you saying that you changed your mind?" he asked then, cautiously.

"I changed my mind, yes." I repeated slowly, my voice quivering.

Apollo moved slowly towards me. He looked at me with quiet eyes but I could almost feel the tension behind them.

"Really?" he asked in a low, almost uncertain voice. It was so strange to see him like this, nervous and waiting for my answer, that I forgot about being mad at him.

Without even thinking, I reached for him and kissed him.

OOO

When my lips touched his ones, my first thought was "What the Hades am I doing?!". I started to pull back but he immediately caught my lips again. I felt his hand on my neck, his arm around my waist. I found out my hands were entwined behind his neck, I still don't know how they had gotten there. He was gentle, even gentler than I had imagined, but he took my breath away nonetheless.

When we parted I was panting; he, on the other side, was unperturbed, as always.

"I take it as a 'yes'. " he said so quietly that I couldn't understand if he was joking or not.

We sat there, entwined, for quite a while, not saying a single word. I wasn't completely aware of what had happened yet and Apollo looked unbelievingly at me, as if I was some sort of wonderful treasure.

Before escorting me back to my room, he took my hands and pulled me to him. "Many people say that I am detached because I do not care."

"Many people said the same thing about me" I stated, remembering my sister Polyxena.

"I know. Then you will believe me when I say that it is not true and that I do care. Very much so. Do you believe me?"

"I always believe you." I answered seriously.

"Well. Then please remember that I care about you, no matter what my attitude makes you think. I will try to show my feelings, I promise." and to make me sure about that, he bent towards me and kissed me again, softly.

"Please don't leave me alone again" I whispered when we parted.

"I shall not" he smiled.

And he meant it.


	17. Where I belong

**Where I belong**

"There is a place I would like to show you " Apollo told me after some days, outstretching his hand.

"Yes." I told him, taking his hand. I felt my feet leaving the ground and a moment later I found myself on a mountain, facing a valley surrounded by shining green mountains. Apollo was still holding my hand.

Turning, I found out we were in front of a great temple and I instantly knew where we were.

"We are in Delphi" I whispered.

"Indeed. I took you here because there is something I wish to tell you."

I looked at him expectantly.

"I love you. I know I have already told you once and after that I haven't come up to my words. But I do love you, please believe me." He didn't take his eyes off me and I couldn't help but feeling dizzy.

"I love you too." I whispered. I wanted to kiss him but I felt he wasn't finished. He smiled, acknowledging my words, and kissed my hand.

"There was a time when I did not know if I loved you anymore. But please know that I have always looked after you when you were in my temple."

"I've always felt rewarded in your temple, Apollo." I said, still not used to call him by his first name.

He bent down to kiss me, then he looked me in the eye again: "I will not screw this up. Not again."

I needed some time before sharing a bed with him. I did desire him and sometimes I felt so lustful that I was surprised of myself but I was a virgin nonetheless; I had to get used to kisses and caresses before moving forward. He waited patiently, never putting pressure on me.

Anyway I felt that he desired me and one day I brought out the subject, even if I didn't know what to say.

"Apollo, do you wish to… uhm." That wasn't brilliant but I didn't know how to continue and I started blushing.

"Yes, I wish to make love with you." He replied quietly, making me blush even more "but I will wait until you feel ready. Please, Cassandra, take your time, we are definitely not in a hurry."

OOO

After the news of the relationship between Apollo and myself became widespread many people began to question, politely or less, about my choice. The one who surprised me the most was Ariadne.

"Are you quite… sure about your choice, Cassandra?" she asked me gingerly one day.

"Very much so." I answered.

She went silent and lowered her eyes.

"Is something bothering you?" I asked, surprised.

She looked at me again, taking a deep breath: "Well, I probably don't have any right to tell you this but still…"

"Tell me!"

"Well, how to put it? Apollo rarely had… uhm… successful relationships. I'm not saying that it always was his fault but he probably isn't that easy to manage as well and I… would like you to be happy."

"But I am, Ariadne. I know him."

"Yes, I'm not saying it is like being with _Ares_. I just wonder if he is able to love someone deeply."

I was outraged but since I had wondered the same thing years ago I let it go.

"More than you imagine." I answered.

Ariadne still seemed uncertain but I dropped the subject.

Ares, on the other hand, was much less polite: "Apollo screwed up every single relationship in his life and you should know it more than anyone else and you should ask yourself why he chose you." He stated one day (without being asked an opinion, of course).

"And what was the reason according to your brilliant mind?" I asked sarcastically.

"Because no one else would accept him as a companion and you are the only silly girl who does."

I confronted him, fuming.

"Don't you _dare_. Next time I'll hear you insulting him I'll punch your head. It won't hurt since it's completely void!" I yelled.

"Crabby mood?" Hermes asked me that very evening.

"You can tell it."

"And why so, if I may?"

"Everyone keeps questioning me about my relationship with Apollo and it's unnerving."

"Did you change your mind? Please, tell me you haven't!" he pleaded.

"Of course I haven't! I just don't understand why everyone seems to hate him. I know very well that sometimes he becomes…" the word that came to my lips was disrespectful and I fell silent but Hermes didn't share my feelings "sometimes he becomes a tool, we know" he smiled.

I smiled too: "Well, yes. But everyone has flaws so I don't see what the problem is!"

"Well, he tends to be detached and to keep people at a distance unless they are friends, in this case he can become quite sweet and caring. Some people misunderstand his attitude and believe him to be cold and heartless; since he doesn't care for people's opinion and he isn't the compromising kind of guy he does nothing to prove them wrong".

I could understand Apollo very well in this regard because I recognized myself as well in Hermes' words.

"It's never been difficult for him to find a lover" Hermes said softly, and for an instant I felt _jealous_ "but it's always been difficult to find a companion because it's difficult to get him. His few romantic relationship ended because he felt there was little or no understanding in the couple."

"And Calliope?" I asked uncertainly.

"Ah, you have noticed. Yes, this happened with Calliope as well. But I'm sure Apollo will tell you himself if you ask him."

"I don't want to make him think that I don't love him." I said worriedly.

Hermes looked intently at me, a gentle smile forming on his lips.

"You know, he's different around you. He's never been like this and he's never really stopped thinking about you."

"I know."

OOO

After my conversation with Hermes I suddenly felt dizzy and a new sensation that I couldn't name took possession of me. But after some moments I understood it and I knew exactly what to do.

I went to Apollo's office, hoping to find him still there, and I wasn't disappointed: he was sitting on a chair, stroking his lyre.

"Good evening!" he said cheerfully, standing.

I approached him, not saying a word, and I took his hand.

"Dearest, is something wrong?" he asked cautiously, pulling me to him.

I kissed him like I had never kissed him and he looked at me with wide eyes when we parted.

"Cassandra?" he mouthed.

"I feel ready." I told him.

OOO

Once we got to my bedroom, he stood in front of me and contemplated me as if I was some sort of treasure making me burn with desire. I had never felt like that and it thrilled me.

He undid my tresses, stroking my hair and my neck, and I lied in his embrace enjoying the soft almond scent of his body.

We undressed slowly and, as much as I desired him, I was both craving for his touch and unsure about what was going to happen. He was very aware of my state of mind.

"Cassandra, have I ever touched you against your will?"

"No" I answered with a muffled voice, since my mouth was pressed against his shoulder.

"And I never will, my beloved" he answered softly.

Then he was so very gentle. He held me in his arms for a long time, caressing and kissing me, purring words of love into my ears, so that I was almost begging me to go on.

The pain was much lighter than I had imagined and it lasted one instant: after that I don't remember anything but pure bliss.

I also found out that I could make him shiver with pleasure under my touch, I could unravel him by simply stroking him: knowing Apollo as I know him I still feel proud about it.

After our lovemaking we lied next to each other, holding hands.

"You're wonderful and I love you so very much" I said.

"Very well, we are going to do this often" he replied amusedly and I pretended to punch him.

"Don't make me change my mind!"

"I will not" he said, shifting to take me in his arms.


	18. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_**Here we are! Thanks to everyone who read and/or reviewed this fiction!**_

Eventually those who had questioned my choice began to shut the Hades up because it became clear that my choice had been the right one.

I mean, Apollo isn't always easy to manage. He isn't exactly the compromising kind of guy and even if he's almost always right he usually chooses the wrong way to prove it and that just gets on my nerves.

When he does so, I tell him. At first he looked at me with wide eyes and told me to calm down but as time went by he learnt to say "you are right" sometimes (and that is _quite_ a victory!)

Our worst argument happened when I suggested that maybe he had to be less protective of Artemis. He almost yelled at me:

"Of course! Then someone will break her heart!" he retorted.

"Well, it seems to me that you already did!" I yelled back. I immediately knew that I had hurt him badly but that day I really didn't care and we didn't speak to each other for days.

Eventually he came back (_he_ came back, that still sounds incredible) and told me that I was right and that he would have tried to loosen up a bit.

But I suppose I'm not easy to manage as well and he endures my cantankerous side and my occasional harshness without flinching.

And now that you know the end of my story let's say goodbye until the day I'll tell you a new one – and I hope you believed me _this_ time.

_**Drabble – Low Blow**_

_**A.N. Here Asklepios is Cassandra's son and not Coronis'**_

"Your son is just lovely, Apollo. But he doesn't get my jokes." Hermes told Apollo this afternoon.

"That's probably because they're too silly for him." my husband answered. He and Hermes always tease each other very much but actually they adore each other.

"My jokes are _quite_ intelligent, O amusing one!" Hermes replied, annoyed. But he himself had to laugh at _that_. "No, he's probably a bit… humorless!" he added with a wicked smile.

"Do you think that our son is humorless, Cassandra?" Apollo asked me then.

"Well, it's your son. Thus…" I answered, not completing the sentence.

Hermes laughed: "Apollo, I think this was a 'yes'!"

Apollo just scowled at him: "I can understand that, young gentleman. Thank you." he seemed perfectly calm and even annoyed but I could read the amusement in his eyes. When he turned, I looked at Hermes mocking Apollo's glare and he laughed out loud.

"Why are you laughing?" Apollo asked his brother, surprised. But he probably understood that I was the source of that amusement.

"Whatever you have done, you are definitely not funny. And this reminds me that Asklepios is your son too." he declared, stiffening his back.

"You are not funny and you never play pranks. What do you expect?" I asked.

/

(later)

We were laying in bed, next to each other. Apollo took my hand and gently kissed my palm and then all of my fingers.

"My beloved, you are so very beautiful." his sweetest voice purred, making me shiver with desire. He pulled me to him, caressing my body and kissing me gently on the mouth. I tried to snuggle closer to him but he disengaged from my embrace to remove his tunic, then he held me again and I rested my head against his chest. He smelt incredibly sweet.

"How can you be so sweet? Do you put honey on your skin?" I asked, bewildered.

"Yes. It is because I have you _under_ my skin and since you are very crabby I must compensate in some way." he observed quietly, but I could hear the laughter in his voice.

"Delightful." I commented sarcastically and he chuckled.

He slowly caressed my thigh, lifting my tunic in the process and making me wanting him with all of myself. He bent toward me and I could feel his warm breath on my ear: "Dearest…" he murmured in his most sexy voice, his lips brushing my neck -…dearest, good night."

And with that he turned his back to me.

I was still for a moment, bewildered: "And what the Hades is _that_?"

"Well, you said that I never pay pranks so I thought that I had to make up for that. Since you seem to like pranks so much…" his bemused voice came from the other side of the bed.

"But, but… this is a low blow! You can't!"

"Of course I can."

"You won't stand it." I threatened him.

"Really?" he asked, turning to lay on his back.

Without a word I approached him, resting my head on his shoulder, caressing his torso, softly kissing his neck. I went on cuddling and teasing him for several minutes. At first he pretended not to be perturbed by my attentions but eventually he had to surrender:

"Very well!" he exclaimed tiredly, holding me and rolling so that he was on top of me.

"You should know that my prophecies always come true!" I teased him just before he kissed me.


End file.
